Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Night Thirst (2002)

From the Sleazy Slashers box set ($5.99 at Best Buy and I got a dollar off!), here is Night Thirst. Looks like it's shot on video. It directed by the Polonia brothers and their frequent collaborator, Jon McBride. Their Alien style space movie Blood Red Planet, I once described as the worst movie off all time. For props It used upside-down sports bottles as oxygen tanks and smoke detecors as bombs. The climax, which tries to pass off a hand puppet eating an action ficture as a special effect, is something I've replayed for many guests visiting my apartment. I keep the tape rewound to that scene even now. It's on the shelf with all my good movies, not banished to the closet.

One of the Polonia brothers on the cover of Blood Red Planet

See, the Polonia brothers make these films without any irony. If there movies are all a big joke, a sort of performance art, they have me fooled. I think they are dead serious and that is why I am a fan. Night Thirst is awesome. This movie has a Creepshow set up. There is a wrap-around story (with McBride as story teller) and four short episodes. Text in boxes is supposed to resemble the rectangles in comic books that tell the story. Some times the brothers box, split, and frame the action comic book style like Romero did in Creepshow. The borders don't look at all like they do on a printed page and the font in the text boxes is all wrong, but I got the idea of what they were trying to do. These guys are pretty good with their editing machines, the sounds and cuts are all in the right place, they just have horribly outdated equipment.

The first short did not do much for me. The second one was horribly unfunny with a bad Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark ending. A zombie does urinate on a guy though. The third short was my favorite, "The Black Forest". Demons in rubber masks from a Halloween store lurk behind the trees. They through a rubber bubbly sack at the victim and we get a moving object's point of view shot kind of like Evil Dead. Pretty cool.

The last skit was the best. It's was very similar to a classic short from the original Tales From the Crypt movie that later became an episode on the TV show. "Christmas in July" features an ax wielding Santa and one of the Polonia brothers plays the abusive dad who should have believed his daughter. The Polonia borthers are good actors. I'm sure they shot their movies at their homes. In one scene a wall of horror tapes is in view behind one of the characters and I'm sure they did not put it in there to look cool. It probably just happened to be there, not to say that the Polonia brothers are lazy. They keep cranking out the movies and I admire them.

I've got to mention their movie Splatter Farm. I rented it a few years ago in Boston and watched it with a friend. We were both speechless when it was over. It's poorly shot, for certain on vhs, and there is lots of annoying white noise, but that's beside the point. This movie might have been the single most offensive film ever made in America. I can't describe the violent scenes because even explaining what happened would make this blog legally obscene. I would surely be banned from blogger.com and my internet connection would probably be taken away. Get a hold of Splatter Farm if you can. I've bought my copy, but I'm holding on to it just in case there is a crazy campaign be the decency commission to destroy every copy in existence.

Splatter Farm

A review of the Polonia brothers Feeders and Feeders 2, Feeders was available at Blockbuster

Official Jon McBride Web Page

B-MOVIE THEATER - this place sells grade z movies, I see the number 2 selling film of all time at the site is a Polonia brothers movie. I think being filmed on video is a requirement here.


Anonymous Tim S. said...

Great reviews. If you are really a fan, check out The Cult of Polonia Yahoo group. There are constant updates on their new wwII horror flick, Hellshock. -Tim

11:40 AM  
Anonymous Brice Kennedy said...

The Polonias' dedication to their craft is truly inspiring. As a frequent collaborator and friend, I can honestly say that they'll probably make movies 'til the day they die. I'm glad you enjoyed a lot of their work! Amusing, bedaazling stuff. Stay tuned...

Brice Kennedy
a.k.a. "Stewart" in BLOOD RED PLANET
"Hank" (The guy who got urinated on) in NIGHT THIRST

6:22 PM  

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