Sunday, March 27, 2005

computer graveyard

I'll be making my new shocking website soon. I just changed the idea of what to name it since I discovered a site out there with a similar name to the one I had in mind and it's a serious site where indie rock shows are listed and bands are profiled and more boring shit. I'm brainstorming again.

Though I pretend to be a computer genius, someone who knows a little code, internet history, and web design, sometimes I'm in way over my head. There are people, nerds perhaps, with 6-10 times as much computer knowledge as I have. Those are the people you should really be paying to do your websites, however, I do know a little of what is going on in the computer world and I'll make your site for half the price! ....negotiable, I will do it for one 4th... :-(

Today's topic: There is spyware out there and it is coming for you!

No, I don't think it will get into your bank account or make your webcam film you when you're getting out of the shower. I do think it will destroy your computer, by breeding, calling up more programs from the internet, to show you ads, ads, and more ads. So many of the shitty little programs will be running that you won't be able to use your real software due to a memory shortage. One day, after not keeping up with the deleting of these sneaky spies, you won't be able to use your computer at all.


For a while I had two computers, one purchased from a former roommate, the other, abandoned by a former roommate Neither was reliable and I'd switch between the two, plugging the other in every time I got frustrated. Both were hurting from spyware infections and they both went totally dead within a month of each other. I went out and bought the new $200 Windows operating system to save at least one of the lifeless shells. No, neither computer would read the disc. Stickers all over the packaging said that it could not be returned if opened and I had mangled the box big time Well, Hollywood's Best Buy had opened only two days before I had gone in there to make my purchase. I knew I would be able to force the brand new employees to take back my discs. I'm am not usually brave or obnoxious, but I was seeing red. It was a bad day and I did kick the shit out of one of the dead PCs.

But I needed a computer and I bought one of the cheap e-machines that after rebates costs only a few hundred dollars. This computer pleases me and I'm still friends with it now. Only recently has Explorer not been opening without a restart. Yeah, that's a pretty bad sign, but I've been through so much worse. Besides, I've been fucking with it from the start. The first thing I did was take the hood off of the thing to jam an older drive into there. How stupid is that? Buy a perfect new PC and crack it open right away. It felt wrong..

I have taken proactive measures to fight spyware. I've got a free ZoneAlarm firewall. Norton Utilities, and now the new program and the reason I wrote this column, Microsoft AntiSpyware. It found a ton of shit Norton didn't and it's free and supposedly will stay free. Listen to the horrible programs it found: eXact.CashBack, TopRebates, WinControlAd, Trojan.Startup.Xhrmy, BundleWare, Look2Me, and about 45 more. What's the point of these programs I wonder. That's the absurdity of it all. I bet only one in 10,000 morons buys something advertised by these programs and we all have to suffer for it. If the programers get money for each ad shown, it's something like 0.0001 cents per view. So they have to inflict there junk on millions to make a profit. I'm not a Microsoft fan, it's Windows' uniformity that makes the spyware so effective, however, a lot of the 'spyware removers' you find on the web from random developers are actually spyware themselves! This Microsoft one is the real deal, just do a search, you will find it.

Here is testimony from the people about spyware, so you don't have to take my word for it!

I just liberated my sister-in-law's computer from the zombie army last weekend. She had at least 3 viruses, and Ad-Aware found 800+ spyware modules. She couldn't figure out why her web browsing was slow. Her computer was sending so much spam, she couldn't even pull down a web page. Incredible.

It's really more than an annoyance. At a certain point, spyware destroys computers. I have a machine in here from one of the employees that has been totally obliterated by spyware. It is utterly unusable. I don't think there's an actual virus, but there's just so...much...stuff.

The biggest indicator of if you're going to have a problem? How old your kids are. Let a 9 to 15-year-old loose on a PC and a broadband connection, and your computer will die, it's just a matter of time.
(I also wreck machines, too much exploring and going to obsolete sites, I should stick to,,, etc...)

(Oh wait, the actual biggest indicator is if you have a Windows PC. If you have a Mac, you're in much better shape.)

A horror movie about spyware! What a good idea! Oh wait, movies about computer virus suck. Movies about hacking suck. Movies about the internet suck. Nevermind.

Friday, March 25, 2005

sex crimes and death culture

Here is some political writing about current events, skip it if you want, but I did post some ridiculous shit toward the end of my essay. It might be worth a look.

I'm not labeled as conservative or liberal so from my position the case of the brain damaged woman on a tube is very complicated. To be on the safe side I probably ought to take the side where Schiavo doesn't get starved to death. Common sense right? Well no. People aren't using the own senses at all, they pick the side they are supposed to be aligned with and change the facts to fit their view. Republicans have manipulated the issue. Liberals fear that if a law is changed to save this women, it would be a law that takes away choices that they might want to make. It is convenient for liberals to believe she is braindead. It is convenient for Republicans to state that she is trying to communicate, so that this case can be a massive example of euthanasia gone horribly wrong. Neither group ever really thinks when it comes to any issue. All their stances are already defined by their very identities. Here, a life is in the balance and people sounding off on both sides of the issue really don't care except for how it affects their agendas. I don't know very much about Republicans, I have more of a liberal background, so the warnings I'm going to issue are to the brainwashed left as opposed to the brainwashed right.
You believe people should have the right to choose when to be taken off of life support. If they can't choose, the closest loved one has that right. I see the logic, but what about this particular case. I'm told that the husband does not visit. I'm told that he did not use the money he received (due to her condition) to pay for her treatment? Is it because he believes in the liberal value of euthanasia that you side with the husband?

Liberals are associate with tolerance and diversity, but what value is given to people with diminished capacities if this women is to die because a full bodied man authorized it?

One thing is for sure. Americans don't weigh issues and think according to which side of the battle lines they stand on. Sometimes I wonder if their are liberals who consider every aborted fetus a victory or liberals who will high five when they find out that this woman has died, since that means Bush's plans were thwarted. Of course on the other side we have all that military bullshit. Yes, there is a culture of death in America.

and now for sex crimes... There is good news! Well actually it is a sad story for everyone involved so we probably should not take joy in any of the proceedings, but Jane Doe's representatives did say she was happy. That counts for something.

Here in Newport Beach a crime was committed. Of course I did not live here when the shit went down. It's not my hometown and I can't say I really know any of my neighbors at all, but my apartment is here so this national story has a tiny bit more relevance to me. It's been the focus of the O.C. Weekly (free paper with a bit of news and all the rock show listings) for months now. Rich skateboarder Greg Haidl and two friends made a video tape where they violated the unconscious Jane Doe (then 17) on a pool table in the basement of his dad's mansion. Object's that penetrated the vagina include a lit cigarette, an aluminum fruit juice can, a snapple bottle, and a pool cue. The pool cue is inserted as deep as possible. They touch the stomach to see how deep it goes. The pool cue is inserted into the anus as well. The boys were blasting nasty rap music and striking poses for the camera. Of course they wanted to show their movie to the friends, but too bad for them, they lost track of it and it ended up lost at a Newport Beach rental.

It sounded like the boys were were fucked for sure. I mean, it's all on tape! Well there was a mistrial. The boys had the best lawyers money can buy and it started to look like they would probably not do any time. Haidl must have felt invincible. When his dad threw him a post-mistrial party, he had sex with an underage girl. Not a good idea if you were out on bail, but that was just the first strike. Haidl was then caught skateboarding where he should not have been and had with him something he should not have had, a bag of weed. Well, a friend took the fall (real quote: "Dudes, it can't be my dope! I’m out on bail") and his dad's political connections also helped. Then came a sad Halloween night, drunken Haidl crashed his 2005 Scion into oncoming traffic. Eventually this one landed him in jail.

The most recent trial was a nasty one. The defense argued that Jane Doe was acting. She had convinced the boys to make a staged necrophilia gang bang video in order to further here potential career as a porn star. Ridiculous even though Jane Doe was very sexual and had been with some of the boys before. Despite all those matters being legally irrelevant, the defense's tactic was to smear Doe as a 'slut'.

I try to bring the best links to my readers. Here are
clips from the actual trial where you can see the defense talk about Doe shaving her privates.

So that's the background story. And yesterday's news? Of course, the boys were found guilty of the bulk of the charges leveled against them. I saw them on the news, that looked devastated. Two of them were crying uncontrollably. Sentencing is still unknown.

Here is link to tons of the updates from the
O.C. Weekly. They made Haidle 'Man of the Year' and put him on the cover with a banner, which is some pretty dark humor that amused me to no end.

Here is some
text and a killer clip, filmed by Haidl trough a skateboarding-type fisheye lens. It shows drunk defendant Kyle Nachreiner jumping off a railing CKY style. Oh yeah, he talks like a jackass too.

and last... Someone should have taken
this site down! A link to Haidl's skateboarding profile, where he is sponsored or whatever. Users are allowed to comment and they say the most interesting things. Examples...

the 'informative' post...

~~~~~~~~~~ALL ABOUT JANE DOE~~~~~~~~~~
1) Jane Doe is actually very pretty- even your twisted friend Greg and his buddies said she was the hottest girl in their group of friends. And besides what does her beauty have to do with getting raped?
2) Don't know about the pillow, all I know is she didn't say a word as they shoved those objects up her, and what girl pee's on herself voluntarily?
3) Yeah Greg's daddy buys him out of trouble, that says alot about the Haidl family values.
4) He got fatter and uglier- I AGREE!!!
5) Hopefully the jury will view the evidence and see him for the creep he is.
6) Very STUPID KID!!! What idiot makes this tape and leaves it for others to find? DUH GREG!!! Also if hes such a great kid why did he befriend Alessandro Avila, the sicko who molests and kills 5 year old girls. He's Greg's friend in jail!!!!!! Greg talks to him and shares candy with him. I guess they have alot in common. After seeing Chuck Middleton at work, fighting for Jane DOe, I have come to the conclusion that Greg will stay and rot in jail for hopefully the next 23 years!

the typical post...

Greg Haidl was Convicted Today and faces 18 years in Prison. At least he's got 4 months of that done already! the other two guys (kyle and keith) look pretty humiliated and shocked when they were handcuffed and going to jail, haha - i think they are getting booked still right now (6 hours later). they are just gettin' cozy right about now down in Santa Ana!

the ??? post...

1. what's janes last name we want to look her up on google
2. Do you skate in your jail cubicle?
3. why did you commit suicide?

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

The Pit (1981)

This cult classic tell the story Jamie, an autistic boy, who is picked on and unloved, so he tricks people into going out into the woods with him and pushes them into a pit full of monsters. Obviously this movie is awesome and it teaches people about the condition of autism. I've never known anyone diagnosed as autistic, but I've had my suspicions about a few people. Of course we are rooting for the kid, Jamie, in this movie, but he is not exactly an angel. He is a peeping tom, and the techniques he uses to harass the librarian, whom he is attracted too, are certainly elaborate and criminal.

I managed to find both versions of the artwork for this movie.

The pacing in this movie is a little off. We have a good chunk of the film with no killings, and then three scenes in a row of people being pushed into the pit. Fortunately, Jamie is a joy to watch. He wants to help the monsters in the hole, the tra-la-logs, and has discussions with his teddy bear about how to do so. Teddy is not really alive, his voice sounds like an echoing version of Jamie's, but in one inexplicable scene, Teddy turns his head when he is alone in the room.

Towards the end of the movie, Jamie manages to get the tra-la-logs out of the pit, and the movie focuses more on their rampage across the countryside than it does on Jamie's inner conflicts. This is unfortunate, though the tra-la-logs do have a good look.

imdb fun fact about this movie is that director Lew Lehman's wife refused to let him shoot the nude scenes, except for the one in the lake, because the actress in that scene was his daughter.

The final scene in this movie is awesome, I saw it coming, but I've watched a billion of these movies. You might be in for a shock.

Do think there might be a pit of forgotten prehistoric tra-la-logs in real life? Maybe one near our apartment?

I believe that there may in fact be some prehistoric tra-la-logs on the other side of our bedroom wall. For I have oftentimes come home and witnessed Mishu (my bear)
staring at the wall speaking to God knows what. Tra-la-logs perhaps? That may also explain all the missing food in our apartment!

After we saw Jamie talking to his Teddy, were you upset to see me talking to my bear, Mishu?

It was a bit upsetting to see you talk to Mishu more than me, cause he doesn't even truly love like a cub should love. Mishu does sound creepy and I know he caught it all from Teddy. Bad influence. Keep Mishu sweet and innocent!

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

the internet and me

I'm letting my site expire in 2 days since I was not very pleased with the host, One problem with them is that I can't host images on their server and have them appear here. In theory I should be able to, but no, they appear broken. I've been using and have been happy with that free service. is already down and I've got a redirect link sending the traffic here. If you are a reader who only knows the address, please bookmark this one, I need to retain every reader that I can, cause there are not that many!

I'm going to be making a new website, showcasing the writing from here and a few surprise things. I plan to keep posting content here first, and then archiving it on a site with maybe more graphics and extras. I'm trying to think up the most obnoxious name for the site, one that will annoy and generate hate mail. Unfortunately a lot of the good names are taken, people have bought every .com name you can think of so that they can one day sell them for a high price. Here is a link to a
sleazy company that buys domain names right after they expire, posts porn sites at the address, and then tries to sell the name back to the original user for $500!

Anyway, it looks like my site name will end with .net.

In the news...

The new issue of Fangoria sucks, cover to cover.

Quentin Tarantino is not making the new Friday the 13th movie. It was just a rumor, and people, if you believed that one, you are dumb.

I saw the German movie Downfall about Hitler's last days in the bunker. This movie is very disturbing and is a must see. Cub and I were almost the only ones in the theater watching this movie who were not actually alive during WWII. Maybe it's just Newport Beach, you have to have a lifetime's savings to be able to afford to live here.

The next Ring movie will be a remake of the first one, but the evil videotape will be replaced by a cursed DVD. The fourth Ring movie will be aboard a space ship in the year 2020. The creepy video footage is saved on the ship's computer and plays spontaneously on the monitors, dooming the crew and passengers to only a week more of life if they can't find anyone else to watch it. This info from a reliable source.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

era of the demoniac

Here is some news about mad scientist experiments that are wrong for so many reasons. First I'll illustrate the concept via diagram and you will be shocked, but this is real.

another diagram from bloodbath horror blog

here is the text of the article, from animal rights site

2005-03-09 15:18:29 EST

I am amazed. According to the news of the day from mikethevegan, scientists are working on making a mouse with a human brain. This transcends my ability to understand science to the point where this might well be a hoax, but the plan at this point seems to be to use stem cells from aborted foetuses to get an all-human brain inside the rat. There are limits to the madness though: according to Stanford University's ethics committee, "if the mouse shows human-like behaviors, like improved memory or problem-solving, it's time to stop," and by "stop," they mean "kill all the mice," which at that point, by their twisted logic, would kind of work out to be murder... It's an ethical minefield, but one that's simple to negotiate once you accept the fact that it's simply wrong to experiment on any animal, regardless of what kind of brain it has.

I don't have to comment much, that entry says it all, however I might point out that these scientists should probably watch some horror movies to see what kind of results are produced by such experiments.

here is the real
news story

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

punk, stylists, cool

The other day I was talking about Keanu Reeves wearing a GBH shirt in a photo spread and was reminded of my year of managing a boutique in Hollywood. Stars don't wear their own clothes in magazines or rock videos. Wardrobe sends stylists to pick up clothes from trendy stores and then try them on the star at the shoot. They don't buy the clothes outright, but agree to purchase a certain percentage of what they pull. I saw a Good Charlotte video where the singer is wearing a Crucifix 'peace bomb' logo t-shirt. Now I'm sure Good Charlotte are doing their best to catch up and learn everything they can about the history of underground punk, but I doubt they have gotten much deeper than the Dead Kennedys at this point. Most likely the singer had never seen that t-shirt until the day of the filming. A smart stylist hit up one of the several stores in Los Angeles that sells a wide variety of freshly screened unlicensed punk tees.

My favorite example is Justin Timberlake wearing a shirt with an
Anti-Nowhere League logo printed on the sleeve. The designer of the (no doubt expensive) garment probably just 'borrowed' the image, knowing the most of the world, including Justin, would have no idea that it came from somewhere else.

Once again I provide the evidence!

random notes:

Quentin Tarantino will be making the new Friday the 13th movie called Ultimate Jason Vorhees Movie. Well, that's what I heard...

Dario Argento will be making the last film in the "Three Mothers" trilogy. The sequel to Suspiria and Inferno. Well, that's what I heard..

If two out of three people can't tell that a whole issue of
Vice Magazine was a joke, then there is little hope for any of my websites..

Friday, March 04, 2005

Cursed (2004)

I've never reviewed a current horror film in this blog. I guess I just like to stick to the obscure stuff on DVD or out-of-print tapes, but what the hell, I want to write about Cursed. Wes Craven all but disowned the movie, Cub and I went to the theater anyway. I'll break it down nice and simple.

what I liked

Scenes set in Hollywood near my old apartment.

The horror references in Club Tinsel.

Animal costumes and a scene at a
Peta event.

A kid coming out of the closet.

what I disliked

The gore being cut or not shown. In one scene the screen goes black and we just hear the mauling. Terrible.

A quick dream like sequence that is very Ring-like, with flies and some fast cuts and jerky bits of crawling on the ceiling.

The humor, a line like "Lay off the crack".

Scott Baio cameo. Is that funny?

The cartoonish transformations. Who knew the werewolves become Shrek right before sprouting fur? Why have we regressed so much since An American Werewolf in London. Rick Baker is mentioned in the credits, but I don't think he left the film early, this movie took a long time to be made. At least these effects were better than the changes in An American Werewolf in Paris, a shit film.

The wrestling tryout scene. A lot of the characters in this movie don't act remotely like real people do, especially the people at the school.

On the
bloody-disgusting site a user knocks the scene where the werewolf gives the finger, well here is a rebuttal from another user who (I wished he'd left a name) represents your average kid who loved this movie. "To all you little dick critics, FUCK U!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And P.S., fuck is wrong with flashing the finger, shit I do it all the fucking time BITCHES HO FUCKs"

The CGI, I never like CGI, but in this movie it's particularly fake looking when the werewolves, or the infected golden retriever, are running around.

A scene with a hummer, this movie already feels dated.

Verdict: Nobody out there is gonna say this is a good movie and it was a major disappointment to horror fans.

Cursed star Christina Ricci, like you didn't know..

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Witchfinder General (1968)

I get to write at school now and my first paper, about getting jumped in L.A., got an 'A', so with that said, we have proof that stories are worth reading. I've been pretty pissed off lately, busy, and tired, but I still managed to watch some movies.

Witchfinder General is known more commonly as The Conqueror Worm here in America. I swear I once read on the back of a video box somewhere, that in this movie Hopkins goes up against a real witch for a battle of evil vs. evil. That does not happen. I expected it to, maybe I'm confused. I don't have a real tape of this movie, just a dub with no box art that I won on ebay. Yes, I've been getting ripped off left and right, who would expect movies won on ebay to not be factory issue!

It's a good movie, more complex than most gothic horrors. Before seeing this movie I was familiar with the Cathedral song based on the film from their album 'The Carnival Bizzare'. I'd like to comment on the lyrics.

Hopkins (The Witchfinder General)

She rides to the sabbath
Veiled under silver light
To make love to the devil
Necromancer of nyte
Within the mystic forest
She sets your world alight
Her coven conjure the demons
Herald the sacrifice yeah

Lucifera Vampirella
She bares the mark of the devil

Queen of the witches
Her kingdom is your hell
Black masses in the convent
Priests under her spell
The crops have withered
The sky bends upside down
Her name is Lucifera
The mutant preachers yell yeah

My name is Hopkins
I'm the witchfinder general
My impotence deceives me
You beauty turns me pale
Winds haunt the village
Satan's ghost awakes
The world falls into darkness
As she melts at the stake yeah

Matthew Hopkins witchfinder general
Your soul condemned to hell

All of the verses, except for the last one, have nothing to do with the movie. Their are no supernatural elements present. The line that mentions Hopkins being impotent probably refers to the movie Mark of the Devil, based on Witchfinder General, and made two years later. It's got an impotent accuser and is a very nasty movie with tons of explicit torture scenes and gore. Still, the Cathedral song has a bunch of audio samples from Witchfinder General and a the rock video is included on some DVD releases of the movie. I found the video online and there are some film clips in there so check it out if you want to at MetalVideos, Inc., scroll down through the alphabetical list of metal bands.

Witchfinder General stars Vincent Price, not on my list of top horror stars of all time as I tried to keep it obscure. I was familiar with him even when I was a toddler since he hosted Mystery! on Channel 2 and speaks on 'Thriller'. In Cry of the Banshee (1970), Price plays a witchfinder again, but I didn't really like that one.

Witchfinder General director Michael Reeves made three other horror movies.