Friday, September 29, 2006

Oliver Stone: "I'm ashamed for my country" from CNN

Hi, I'm sorry I've been slow on posts lately - I'm working on two very important video/TV projects and these things take up my free time. I thought I'd forward this link to an article about Oliver Stone who was recently praised by conservatives (they won't like this) for his non-partisan World Trade Center movie, though it was not universally loved by the critics.

Stone has some of the same harsh words for foreigners as well. "There is something in the human heart, the international human heart, that is evil."

Monday, September 25, 2006

Why important people don't give a fuck about us. Us bloggers and movie websites I mean...

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Blood Freak interviews splatter artist Putrid!

What can I say? This artist talks about his influences, the movies he likes, and shows off a tape collection that kinda looks like mine - link here.

what if they built a glory hole and nobody came?

Talked to my investors about the glory hole construction and they are concerned. Out talent scout has not checked out the theater men's room yet. What if it only has one stall? That could put the person on the outside in some pretty awkward situations. Most of my friends have not been in this bathroom either and I do all my cruising behind the Santa Monica Boulevard Del Taco.

In any case, we now have the founds to buy the drill required for construction. The theater manager said he would let us in during a matinee of the new John Lennon movie and will gives us some free soft drinks to cool us down on the job.

doing our part for Los Angeles film buffs

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Monday, September 18, 2006

phallic symbols on a colossal scale!! Idiocracy tops Romero's Dawn of the Dead on the subject of consumerism in America!

In case you missed it, I had a lot of good things to say about Idiocracy in my review, all without giving away and actual details about what happens on screen in the film. If you want it spoiled for you, too bad, because there is no trailer. What made me happy here was that the plot never got in the way of the jokes or the message of the film, instead it facilitated more jokes instead of running us through feel good motions that we could give a fuck about. That is my major problem with most comedies. I say keep the jokes coming, fuck the climax and resolution, just good characters and jokes, that is what I need.

Idiocracy: the movie vs. real life - this movie tells the truths about life, this time I mean it!

I know I say it all the time, most recently about New York Ripper, but this is the movie that tells it like it is when it comes to the world today. We are headed for the Idiocracy and 150 Days of Sodom will bring you there, but at least I fuckin; know I'm doing it!

This movie could have been huge. It has the potential to create a new language - think of the marketing potential in t-shirts alone. Yes, this movie creates a whole world, a horrible world, and a world that is made up of many large elaborate sets, props, and tons of CGI dropped on top of that. It's a big budget film and most people won't see it until the DVD drops. I expect cult success in the future because it is so damn funny. I was almost rolling around on the floor. Funnier than Office Space, the movie I would compare this to in spirit would be Team America, but Idiocracy is far superior.

Everything is ruined for us wannabe film makers. Everything we wanted to satirize or poke fun at has been skewered in Idiocracy in a very heavy-handed way. Even more discrete attempts at subversion in the future will remind audiences how much more brutal a beating the nonsense and stupidity of the world got at the hands of Mike Judge in Idiocracy. Yes, I expect the movie to get recognition as I mentioned above. Mike Judge is a beaten man now - read the Esquire article about how he just wanders around suburban Austin and talk only to the Starbucks barista each day - but perhaps he will have the last laugh. I can't believe it, there was room for this movie at the box office last weekend with The Covenant at number 1, it makes no sense - as everyone and their mother has already commented in this blogging world.

Let me give you some real example of the Idiocracy - a special treat. In between classes at Orange Coast College this week I took in some sights, well I mean I sat down and watched kids auditioning in front of a camera and MTV interns to be on the NEXT! bus. You might have heard about Dr. Drew's scientific studies that are legit and prove reality show TV stars to be the biggest narcissists or our day, well how does that explain why when you put the boys on camera they start talking all G and shit? Ok, so G's do think they are pimpin' or something, but I want to quote the girls. One rather attractive girl rolled her shirt up to expose her midriff during the quick taping. She did her Shakira inspired dance and stated that "even her gay friends say they cream a little when she does it". This line slayed. Motherfuckers were cracking up. "That's a good one, we like that". She is a TV natural. Did the 19 year old girl whose big scandal was the photo of her "twins" being posted around myspace measure up? Sure, why the fuck not?!? Give them shows, record deals, put them in a Robert Altman film. Oscars are on the way!

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Thor vs. Odin, Bitch, out-of-print tapes from the mom & pop era, more...

Ok, we are all familiar with movie/metal star Thor, but are you are fan of Odin? You might remember them from Penelope Spheeris' Decline of Western Civilization Part II: The Metal Years. Anyway, I saw these forgotten legends last night at a bar in Tarzana. Finding an Odin CD or record is unfortunately next to impossible. I would say I was the youngest one at the whole sold out show (at age 28!?), but the kid that drove me there is not even 21. He is the most dedicated metal head you will ever meet who was not around during metal's glory years. He dropped $30 to get permission from the venue to videotape Odin because this performance, their third in the last five years, needed to be documented for historical reasons. Of course doing things like this pays, as now the Odin band members want to see the tape. The kid has no fear of going up to any band member, or for that matter calling them at home after researching them on the internet. Same goes for directors and stars of forgotten B-movies of the 80's. The people he tracks down are often shocked that anyone cares about them or wants to interview them. This band Odin, pretty much unknown to the outside world, are rebuilding their following, selling out this bar in the Valley is a step in the right direction. They fuckin' rock, no doubt.

I would also like to mention that the early Metal Blade band Bitch opened and played to a half-empty room. This band had like a thousand videos, I don't get it.

movies:

Over at the Egyptian Theater on Hollywood Boulevard, a 3-D film festival is in progress. What did I learn? A faded 3-D print is a very unfortunate thing as the blues and reds fade and the 3-D effect is muted. The movie I saw, Gog, had a newly made print for the right eye (from a master), but was using the only print left in existence to project the image for the left eye. No master exists for that side any longer, which means that if the left print is destroyed or wrecked accidentally, Gog can never be viewed in 3-D again! Many other 3-D films are in danger of disappearing forever, not on DVD - digitized versions are of course fine - but there is a possibility that if not preserved it will be impossible to view these movie as they were meant to be seen, in a theater and in 3-D.

On to the subject of out-of-print vhs, here is what the new company Screamatorium DVD has to say:

The section of American copyright law known as "The Berne Act" states: films unreleased in the United States, including original version of films altered and/or edited for release in the United States, are not protected by American copyright; thus, they are considered public domain. All of our films have either never been released in the USA or are long out of print and have not come out on DVD yet. Once one of our films comes back into print it will be removed from our stock and not be sold anymore.

You know I like that! These guys will be making a DVD of Terror on Tour.

Recently, Lloyd Kaufman's outrageous writing on the subject of celebrities, the media, and the 9-11 disaster, has come to our attention again. Found via thehorrorblog.

I will see Idiocracy tonight at the expensive, Arclight Theater in Hollywood and intend to review it - so stay tuned.

Shit, I have more to say, but I forget what. I recently turned 28 and now am older, grubbier, gayer, and less successful than before - these things of course based on other people's observations.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

this generation of hipster (or subculture) girls digs guy-on-guy action - so explains the gayness of The Covenant

I thought I was the only serious horror fan who would see The Covenant. I thought I would be the only blog-writer to bother giving it a review. No, here thehorrorblog and Damaged 2.0 sound off about this movie being gay, and I don't mean "gay" with the word being used in the way that immature Trenchcoat Mafia graduates use it in my review to describe the film's flying SUV. These guys mean "gay" in that the movie is full of homosexual overtones. Yet, locker room shower scene and all, is this film really aimed at homosexuals? Teenage girls watch horror movies too. But then again what about this one scene where the teenage boy villain pins down the teenage boy hero on the bathroom floor? "Are they going to french?" I asked Cub. They did not french, but the villain did give the male lead a kiss on the cheek. Sure this was meant to be a kiss of death, like the sort of thing a mob boss would give to someone on his hit list, but it WAS gay. Why?

Well you know how guys like to see girls with each other? Now the pendulum has swung the other way - that's what we get for years, and I mean many years, of forcing straight women to be lesbians. See one time I was sitting in my place and my roommate had two girls over. They remarked that it would be "hot" if me and him were to make out. This was the first time I'd heard girls say such a thing. It was 2002, the girls I'm speaking were in their early twenties, so ahead of their time, not part of the current teen generation - perhaps role modes for them. Of course he and I would not get sexual together, but I have met guys who have taken the bait. They claim to not be gay themselves... yeah - look, I like my gays loud and proud, not making excuses for their gayness. But anyway, the girls today are hyper-sexual (not afraid to express their desires) and the hipster guys are so girly that maybe going down on one of their guy buddies is not such a stretch for them. There is one problem with my theory. If guy on guy "hotness" is new and cutting edge, then what is it doing in The Covenant, a movie that is very 1996. Observe the music in The Covenant, 90's style industrial metal from a (should be) dead subculture. The fashion in The Covenant? It's pretty preppy and preppy fashion does not change much, but I will say that there is not much new presented here. I guess my theory is full of holes. I just can't see why The Covenant would not be aimed at teenage girls. There can be no doubt it is aimed at teenagers. There lies my logic combined with the fact that there is a gay market for horror, yes, but is it big enough to carry a number one film, no. It would have been commercial suicide.

One other possibility remains, that Renny Harlin (he is straight) or some one else involved with the film had a consciously or unconsciously had a gay influence on the film, like people claimed Bryan Singer did on Superman Returns. I have not heard any speculation on this being the case and I'm willing to rule it out.

Not sure what my next review will be. In between naps and sleep I've been very busy with school work and long commutes, but there are still a number of movies I've seen in the past few weeks that I could comment on. We shall see.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Who gives a fuck about Lonleygirl15? also - Renny Harlin's Covenant

Not me, I won't even read the articles about that shit. The creators came clean today. Time to bask in the glory of their "hoax". Even idiots were in on this all along - they just kept on watching cause they have no reason to live.

Maybe I'm just bitter because the sound on my PC won't work.

Sorry, I've been busy, I should be posting more this week.

In the theaters, it was the worst box office weekend of the past 3 years and number one was The Covenant. I saw it, but I was not alone in the theater. The retired Trenchcoat Mafia members of Columbine High School got back together for a reunion in honor of the release of this film. They said that it was probably the best film made since 1996, but had to admit that four male witches using their powers to make an SUV fly was gay. They thought it was really cool how the kids at Spencer Academy could crouch and shoot energy balls like in Mortal Kombat and said that this would have been a way more convenient way to kill their classmates than rounding up guns and ammo and constructing all those homemade bombs. Then they continued on saying that they did not know why the Sons of Ipswich were not gonna wear any cool face paint or carve upside-down crosses into their foreheads. I said "uhhh.. maybe in Covenant 2" and slowly walked away to sit on the far side of the theater near the emergency exit.

Tommorow I'm going to see Idiocracy, the Mike Judge movie that came out September 1st in very limited release. For reasons unknown - seriously no one knows why - Fox did not promote this movie at all.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

stupid world, stupid posts

So this waking up at 5:30 in the morning really kills me, it's tough, but fortunately I don't get tired until I'm back at home safe in Hollywood. I'm trying to limit my caffeine intake, so I say "no afternoon coffee allowed" and wait for the evening injection. Unfortunately the byproduct of this plan is me usually taking a nap and waking up after all the stores are closed. Oh well - today as I lay in my afternoon stupor I remembered that Cub wanted me to run my face through this site's process in order to find my celebrity look-alike - 83% match to Kirsten Dunst - no bullshit, see it here. I guess I do look like a girl which is probably why a man in a big gold Cadillac tried to pic me up on Santa Monica Boulevard the other night. Don't worry guys, I was just going to Target.

Anyway, one dumb thing leads to another and I bring to you all, the stupidest thing I have ever posted in this blog - as if you wouldn't have tried something similar... as if you are not headed to the site to do something just as dumb right now.


Monday, September 04, 2006

Left in Darkness

Hey guys, I though I'd throw you this press release for Left in Darkness, an Anchor Bay DVD hitting the streets September 19th. Three out of four of the most recent horror DVDs they have put out have been good, so I'm optimistic.

Poets have written about it. Painters have tried to imagine it. But exactly what does happen after we die? Is there a Heaven? Or perhaps the question to ask is: Is there a Hell? From the fertile mind of legendary television producer Stephen J. Cannell ( Demon Hunter , “21 Jump Street”) and Steven R. Monroe, the director of It Waits , comes the provocative new horror film Left In Darkness , materializing on DVD September 19 th from Anchor Bay Entertainment, an IDT Entertainment company. SRP is $19.98 and the DVD features enough value-added supplements to occupy this life – and the next!

Starring Monica Keena ( Freddy Vs. Jason, “Entourage”), David Anders (“Alias”) and veteran horror actor Tim Thomerson ( Trancers, Dollman ), Left In Darkness illuminates the story of Celia (Keena), a troubled girl whose tortured past places her in spiritual and physical limbo. Her mother died in childbirth, and she always felt responsible for the tragedy. When her father disappeared, her grandparents raised her. As she got older, her sense of guilt grew deeper. And on the night of her 21 st birthday, Celia is drugged, raped and dies of an accidental overdose at a wild college frat party. But for her, it's just the beginning: Trapped in a netherworld between sanctuary and damnation, Celia must now battle the demons – including hordes of horrific Soul Eaters – that prowl the Afterlife. Is the spirit of her recently deceased grandfather ( Thomerson ) trying to lure her to an eternity of suffering? Can her guardian angel ( Anders ) safely lead her to the other side? Is there any way to go towards the light when your soul is Left In Darkness ?

Friday, September 01, 2006

"I drink coca-cola for breakfast" - post about me - not too long of a post, well maybe...

I go down twice a week to Orange County for film classes. It's quite a drive. I go before the rush hour traffic starts - through downtown, through long beach, it's pretty far. I thought Fridays at Santa Monica College would be a breeze by comparison, but no. College Algebra? Oh shit.

Funny how things go. In English class we had to introduce classmates, who we were paired up with, to the rest of the class. Kid next to me begins by saying I am vegan - as I have the "vegan" tattooed on my arm. "Do you eat just sprouts?" a girl asked.

"Well I used to eat Chinese food", I say, "but this guy right here told me that at Panda Express they put all the food in a chicken broth base, including the eggplant and tofu". It's true, I had just learned that from my in class partner, a former Panda Express worker. Everyone wanted to know if ever ate animal products and what I told them was "not intentionally". I think that is a fair way to represent vegans. No one is perfect, but today's lesson is that even after ten years of veganism, you can't guess what is vegan and what is not. You gotta ask. I ate Panda Express last week.

Why do I write about movies here? I am ANOTHER VOICE that goes on the record, forever, about the quality of the movies that I review. Sure, I put my two cents in where it don't belong, but I have lots of horror viewing experience and even a little bit of industry and movie-making knowledge. Sometimes I wanna shed light on a movie that has been forgotten or was never noticed. Sometimes I post about a movie that I can find little information about on the internet - everything here is searchable and contributes to any future dialogue about the movie. Other times I have comments on a movie that lots of people are speaking about - perhaps writing about these movies is less crucial, but I try to bring about a point of view that is unique and not represented by anyone else. If I have nothing fresh to bring to the table, I try to keep the review quick cause I don't want to waste anyone's time. Chances are I'm not the first source that comes up when searching for a movie, so google readers will already be familiar with the basics before they get here.

Of course I have my loyal readers who read everything I write. You guys are my favorites and sometimes I write to you and say stuff that would be uninteresting to a random searching reader. This is because you all are more important.

You guys, I am seriously mentally ill and that may have something to do with me hoarding tons of rare horror tapes and DVDs. Ask Cub what she thinks, it is excessive. I have all sorts of rules that no one knows about, rules about collecting and shelving and watching. Don't get me wrong, I don't care about the condition of the tapes. They are all trashed and I only buy shit dirt cheap. It's criminal how little I've paid for my collection, but that is cause I'm obsessive and very eccentric. I'm like a character from a movie and you might be glad you do not know me, though I am friendly in person and talk to strangers if I please.

One recent discovery, an ok horror forum on the internet - hard to believe that one exists. Forum trolls (not using "troll" in the form of the word that means someone instigating or pulling a prank, just saying "trolls" cause these people are probably ugly little fucks) are a fuckin downer. They are so stupid it is best not to expose yourself to them, but, at this place
Toxic Tomb seems devoid of 14 year olds. Make sure you register though, I did not read the fine print and got banned.