Wednesday, August 31, 2005

how we rock

Sometimes I like to talk current events in this blog, but I'm at a loss for words about the hurricane. I'm watching the news, but I can't draw any conclusions. No one is too blame. It's not fair and it's a horrible disaster. I can only be thankful that I'm not there. Sorry to everyone affected.

Well, that was awkward, perhaps more so than my posts about abortion.

downloading rare records - because downloading rare movies is too hard. Disclaimer: I don't think these bands are getting screwed by the downloads. This exposure should just get people to go out and find their in print records and reissues. I've course I always buy used records, so I'm of little help, but I guess even that keeps the demand up. Besides, the people who scream 'support the scene' the loudest are the ones who get all the free promos and guest passes. Send promos my way...

um... never mind, I'm not putting my address up on here.

something I learned today - bunches of songs from older American punk bands including The Angry Samoans (they are playing again this month in Huntington Beach) and the Big Boys whose singer Randy "Biscuit" Turner passed away this month. R.I.P.

dressed for the h bomb - selections from The Mob (awesome NYHC), Gism, and Fear on Saturday Night Live. You can watch two of the songs on an mpg file! Introduced by Donald Pleasance, though that bit is cut off.

dressed for the h bomb put this pic up in their blog too - as far as I can tell it's the only picture on the web pertaining to that episode...

Middle Aged Youth - I downloaded the Coroner demo. Also, great stuff from the Verbal Assault album Trial. On the Verbal Assault website you can download ten live from songs from 1988!

Church of Thee Nihilistic Goat - once again, there are a bunch of records for download in the comments sections...

medication: a buddyhead mp3 blog - This one I like for the writing, and they put up mp3 samples of every overlooked 90's band that they write up. Their blog may be on the path you took to get here, since it is often my largest provider of traffic besides the search engines.

I have not forgotten, that true rock music is only played by the Octopus Garden... I mean, I have not forgotten about my vacation pictures with four haunted houses and more roadside attractions to show you.

More horror reviews to come...

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Silent Madness (1984)

Can't somebody else review it? Well yes they can, as you will soon see. Did not know this was a 3-D movie until reading the other online reviews just now. That explains a few things, like the cartoon-looking ax flying at the screen before the title appeared. I also remember a sledgehammer-to-the-face in a p.o.v. shot. I bet that was impressive on the big screen.

imdb user
J. Theakston (<---- full review) gives us the scoop - Some notes about the film: Apparently it opened in LA in 3D and pretty much did a roadshow tour. By the time it hit NY, it was being shown flat, which goes to show it really sort of hit the tail end of the 3D craze of the early 80s, which is too bad, because the photography in this one is tenfold that of anything else that was being done at the time (it was done with the over-under polaroid process, not anaglyph, and this was the way it was presented to me). Several murders have some great effects that really work well in the 3-D.

That was from an imdb user comment. Anyway, the director of this movie, Simon Nuchtern, is probably (people don't seem to know for sure) one of the men who shot the famous final scene in the false snuff film, Snuff (1976)...

Rad. Here are all the spoilers courtesy of
Hysteria Lives with my commentary in black text.

BODYCOUNT 14 female:9 / male:5

1: Male teenager killed by sledge hammer to the head

2: Female teen gets a BAD 3-D axe thrown at her, which hits her back
(I thought this looked cool)

3: Skateboarding female teen gets her head squashed in a vice (this is a nasty one)

4: Sorority sister steamed to death (better than it sounds, a stylish kill)

5: (In black & white flashback:) 4 sorority sisters nailgunned.

6: Sorority sister stabbed to death whilst playing 'Dragon's Lair'

7: Sorority sister has a rope put round her neck which is attached to a dum bell and chucked out of the window while she's doing aerobics!

8: Hospital attendant gets a drill through his head whilst trying to rape Dr. Gilmore
(the best kill, Cub saw this coming, I did not)

9: Hospital attendant gets a crowbar through his chest (ridiculous, not too convincing, the films weakest moment)

10: Policeman stabbed in the chest

11: Man stabbed in the back with a shard of broken mirror

The whole review from Hysteria Lives
here... check it out!

The name and the box are not too memorable, but ok I suppose. That would be the corrupt Dr. Kruger on the cover. Or not... I don't know. The mental hospital staff in this movie are far nastier that the psychopath, though we don't feel any sympathy for him either.

So my sources are credited. I just wanted to mention this movie because it was particularly mean and cruel. I'm waist deep in unwatched tapes here. Next should be the slasher Curtains with a cub speaks for the fans.


About twenty minutes into The Brothers Grimm yesterday I found myself thinking, "what a terribly awful film, why the hell was it that I wanted to see it?" I racked my brain, but I could not remember why. Then came a scene where two of the Brother's funny-voiced friends were hung upside-down, above boiling oil, with cases of snails strapped to their head. The sight and sounds were so familiar, like they were in a movie I'd seen. Ah.... much like that Baron Munchausen movie I liked as a kid! That was it, I remembered that I wanted to see this movie because Terry Gilliam (Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Time Bandits, Twelve Monkeys) was the director!

From that point one, scenes that otherwise would have got under my skin, were charming to me because I knew it was the Terry Gilliam style. So, though I say I "tell it like it is" and am not swayed by hype, I saw myself move from disliking a movie to thoroughly enjoying it when an outside factor, in this case the hip director, came into play. So I'm pretty much full of shit, sorry.

At least I still hated the Stepford Wives remake when I found out it was directed by Frank Oz of The Dark Crystal and Little Shop of Horrors (1986) fame. Some crap is just crap.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance (2002)

Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance from Korean director Chan-wook Park is playing now in theaters in New York and Los Angeles. It was tough to follow follow the story towards the beginning of the movie. For the first few moments of each scene I'd feel like I was trying to put together a puzzle in figuring out what was going on. Of course dialogue would eventually reveal the mystery every time and I think this confusion is deliberate on the part of the director and not a result of cultural translation difficulties.

Two people feel compelled to get revenge on each other in this film. The viewer feels sympathy for both of them. It's pretty heavy stuff with tragedy, misfortune, misery, suicide, accidents, you name something dark and it's in there. Of course there is vengeance as promised and I expect that is the main draw for most horror fans. Be prepared to sit through quite a bit of despair before the bloody payoff. At least one of the graphic kills will go down in cinema history for it's graphic gore.

Chan-wook Park made a sequel (none of the same characters, it's a sequel in theme only) to this movie called Oldboy and it has already had a small theatrical run in the United States. That movie has more to it with an elaborate bizarre plot that is more engaging. Beware, a U.S. remake is in the works. By most accounts Oldboy is a better movie though I could see some purists arguing that less is more. To get what I mean, try comparing Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986) with the original (1974). The second Chainsaw is just as violent, has an excellent big name actor, and far more elaborate sets, but the first movie is just plain better with it's raw simplicity.

coming up is a cub speaks on Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance, but first, a preview pic from one of the horrors I witnessed in the backwoods of the Midwest...

This creature will be showing up again an again in the background of the new cub speaks graphic, but here is a better look at him. He is obscured by Cub's reflection in the other picture.

So there is a third movie in this trilogy. Old Boy is considered the second movie and the newest one is the recent Sympathy for Lady Vengeance... Would that be the story of you Cub? You seem like some who should not be messed with.

It would certainly be about me honey... me = Lady Vengeance. I believe that whatever goes around will eventually come around and bite you on the ass. So please, for your own good, refrain from messing with me, cub ;)

You liked Oldboy better than Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance?

I liked Oldboy quite a bit more because there was so much more to it. It was more suspenseful and gruesomein my opinion. I also loved the ending (I will not spoil it for those of you who have not yet seen it). It is a quality movie that would be rated 10 bears (only you cub know just how much that is.)

You gotta admit, Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance is not for the squeamish. I don't want to give away the kills, but some are very bloody. Did any of this stuff make you cover your eyes?

I must admit that there were several times where I did have to close my eyes... you know where cub, cause you saw me do so. I also squeezed your hand harder during those parts!

Friday, August 26, 2005

metal breakout

Porno Holocaust has come out on DVD. I don't know when, but it must have been recently. Anyway, the list price is $29.99 and you know what? It just might not be worth it.

A post about metal, I won't make it a habit - I mentioned in my last post that I don't like black metal, but I do like the legends who started it all, Venom. Over at
this blog is an mp3 of between song banter from a Venom show that they played with Black Flag in 1986. Go to the WFMU blog and read the story and check out the sound clip.

If you really like punk and metal, go to
Church of Thee Nihilistic Goat and check the comments section for this post. Get the program WinRAR to extract any files that you might download, such as Venom's Canadian Assault. I enjoyed the N.W.O.B.H.M. of Witchfinder General and their album Friends of Hell. You can only download so many files per hour.

One of metal's weaker bands is suing Burger King. I know there a lot of legit reasons to sue Burger King, they are not making the world a better place, but this case is hilarious and an embarrassment to the band involved. Get the scoop at the with the real legal papers and everything.

Want to see a fan of that same band chopped in half, entrails everywhere. This site,
MTVhell, has great comics and angry rants from metal fans.

So it's old news, but you simply must read
this piece (the whole story, it loads slow) about the feud between Iron Maiden and America's first family of cable television. The bands who attacked Maiden, Black Label Society (of course) and the metalcore band, Bury Your Dead. What a disgrace. Considerably less cool than when Ink and Dagger threw yogurt on Earth Crisis. Or perhaps it was the roadies for Mouthpiece. I'm getting two stories or more mixed up here.

Bruce Dickinson telling off a beer thrower -

more rants in mp3 (
bruce 1, bruce 2, and Sharon)

I get real upset when customers at work look for performers alphabetically by their first name. This shows that not only have they never shopped at a record store before, but they also have never been to the library.

Expect a horror review and vacation photos shortly...

Sunday, August 21, 2005

ain't it fun

Still want to see Toolbox Murders 2004? Well this stupid list of questions from a message board on the imdb ought to discourage you... (spoilers all over).

I see the possibilities of this movie, but I feel like they cut out half of the story. Who was the killer? Who was Lusman? What were the symbols for exactly? Who was Chas? How did he know all of the buildings secrets and not get killed too? Why was Saffron nailed to the ceiling after she was already nailed to the wall? Why did her eyes open after she was dead? Why did everyone's eyes open after they were dead like they were blinking? Why were the teeth in the wall? Why did the symbols on Nell's arm stop him? How did he get away with this all of those years? Didn't the manager wonder why people kept disappearing? Why was Nell knocking on all the symbols? Why would they have been hollow behind only the symbols and not the walls they were on? Why was the killer so mangled and using needles? Why did the killer need to keep killing in order to stay alive, or whatever he was? What did any of this have to do with Lusman or his black magic? What was the spell that the building was under? What was the deal with the rocker on the roof? Why did the killer keep hammering all night? Why was he so obsessed with killing people with tools? Why did he try to stop the building from being finished originally? Lusman worked on it for 10 years himself to finish it because the killer kept killing the workmen. Did Lusman even know the killer was there?

I hate when people go to the internet to answer questions about a movie. They are either asking to learn the answers to questions that are not meant to be found out or they are morons who don't get the obvious or, like in this case, they are asking about a shitty movie. In the words of the next poster on the board...

Man, I haven't seen it, but you've shown it's so full of holes, I never will!

Well said.

Last post I put up a link to a gallery of bootleg DVD scans. Here is the
article about bootleg DVDs that mentioned that gallery. It's worth a read. From the often shitty L.A. City Beat.

I really not into black metal, that trendy European cousin of death metal. A site called Ruthless Reviews has posted, for a 2nd round, the
ten most ridiculous black metal pictures of the all time. Number one is really something you don't want to see. All that pic is missing would be an Orange County hardcore kid kneeling down at the foot of that stage with his mouth open. What?

Friday, August 19, 2005

Toolbox Murders (2004) the remake

I'm back from the Midwest, home for a day, then off to a wedding in Visalia, California. I am going to post pics from the past week's trip - pics that will interest horror fans - I promise. I also really want to review the movie Nightmare Weekend, a weird, weird, mess of a movie that Troma released in the 80's on Lightening Video. That will have to wait.

Pirated DVDs - they are bankrupting the industry, costing people jobs, and are hand delivered by Bin Laden to the guy on your street corner. None of those things are true, so check out
this gallery of DVD cover scans hosted on Flickr.

Vegan horror filmmaker Scott Goldberg will be putting his movie The Day They Come Back online on
his website for two days, October 30th and 31st. DVD release is November 21st. He's working on a movie with Felissa Rose (it's called Danielle's Revenge), the actress who played the original Angela in Sleepaway Camp.

Over the break we hit up Blockbuster Video, a place that every horror fan hates, other than the readers of Fangoria who no doubt believe it is dope or fly cause they've got all the new CGI monster movies and Sci-fi Channel features. I picked Toolbox Murders because I wanted to see if director Tobe Hooper is back on track. This guy once brought us The Texas Chain Saw Massacre and Poltergeist as well as the cult slashers Eaten Alive and The Funhouse. Unfortunately his last well known movie was The Mangler. Released in 1995, it's a terrible Stephen King film that bears, of course, barely any resemblance to the original short story of the same name. Sadly, it got worse. In 2000, on video, appeared the Lake Placid knockoff, Crocodile, with a giant CGI beast. Oh that movie did certainly suck as you can better imagine.

People are talking about Tobe Hooper again because there has been some buzz about this Toolbox Murders, a gore-filled remake of a 70's bloodbath. Is this the awesome movie we've all been waiting for? Hell no.

The original The Toolbox Murders is not that memorable, but it has got one really great kill before ending on a slow note. At least the film goes down as one of the video nasties, banned in Britain. I really don't remember it well, but am pretty sure it drifted off on a dull kidnapping plot tangent. That's all irrelevant now, because Tobe Hooper's movie only shares the killing tools with the original. He brings in a bunch of other shit though... and it's all awful.

- a kid who hacks into his neighbors webcam, to watch her changing, but did he get that murder recorded?

- mysterious runes of magic decorating the building, this supernatural element is never explained. I mean that in a bad way, I know ambiguity often works in horror, but in here it's either laziness or too much crap ended up on the cutting room floor.

- a Trent Reznor-type brooding handy man, so obviously weird, that he could not be the killer.

- a cast of moody generation x'ers, look... the nineties are over, but here we are. A lot of rain too, sure there is a rainy season in L.A., but that looked like Seattle.

- a sleazy building manager, who seriously, did not seem at all bad to me next to an actual building manager that I had when I lived in Hollywood.

- piles of rotting corpses, like we discovered Leatherface's secret room, which is out of place in a movie that aims to be believable for the first two thirds of the way through.

- the movie did not feel 70's, despite the quote on the box cover, it felt very now... and it sets us up for a sequel!

- don't see it

Thursday, August 11, 2005

you like short posts

Cub and I are going out of town for ten days! Maybe we will post some vacation pictures when we get back.

Anyway, it looks like everyone should avoid The Skeleton Key,
here is a very negative review at Freeze Dried Movies. No way I'm watching that shit.

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Legend of Blood Castle (1973)

First, a few random notes: Move over Japanese Guinea Pig movies, here is something called AV Horror! I don't know what watching a whole movie of this is like, but it would appear that these are made up of simulated scenes of Hara-Kiri. See this nasty video clip or these sets of images (one, two, three). I don't know where to get these DVDs, I just saw a post about it on a message board and the source is not credited. The company that made these movies is called Fuji Kikaku.

one more thing: praise from
Mondo Schlocko about this blog - "speaking of fantastic and brilliant here is a great site of reviews of the some of the many cult VHS horror flicks and Brentwood collections out there today. Besides Warrenzone's reviews is also interesting side commentaries from Cub. A guy who digs Brentwood and Polonia flicks is okay in my book." Thank you.

The Legend of Blood Castle is a rare one. Not on DVD to my knowledge, though one of director Jorge Grau's other films, Let Sleeping Corpses Lie, has received the Anchor Bay treatment. I'm pretty sure my tape of this movie was cut, but I like what I did see. The uncut version is allegedly titles The Female Butcher.

The movie centers around an evil royal couple who come into their wicked ways separately.The nobleman Karl is more interested in watching his hawks kill doves, than having sex with his wife. In a gruesome scene we see a hawk eat a real dove alive. I Could have done without that. Karl becomes a vampire deliberately by wearing some sort of cursed amulet.

Why is the Countess Erzsebet Bathory not attractive to Karl? It seams she is old and has lost her youthful beauty. Well, there is hope, a witch advises that bathing in the blood of a virgins removes the ravages of age. Of course one bath alone will not do. You can imagine where this leads.

It sounds like a conventional horror film, but this movie is a bit nastier than the average gothic tale and it has some unique touches. The relationships between the characters in the movie are a little odd. Witches seem to play a somewhat accepted role in this society and no one appears in the least bit surprised when a corpse in a clear coffin is given a large public trial. The royal husband and wife keep tabs on each other by looking through a little hole in the attic floor and bedroom ceiling. This hole doubles as a spout for a blood shower.

a Spanish/Italian production

the reviews on the imdb site are worth a look for this movie. No Cub Speaks this time (she did enjoy this movie), but I'll get one on the next movie we watch together.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

quickly we rot

The first thing you guys gotta know is... that the man who brought the most horror to your small town video store, now has a blog. Charles Band, started Media Home Entertainment, produced Tourist Trap, Troll, TerrorVision, Ghoulies, and then of course worked on all the Full Moon movies. He is on the road with the resurrected Full Moon label.

So now there is a page that tells YOU when each of your favorite horror blogs is updated. Yes, this blog ('bloodbath' or 'warrenzone', take your pick) is reported on, so the list must be complete. Check it out:
Where the Monsters Go: The Horrorblog Update Page and also stop by the blog by the guy who created that resource, a writer named Sean.

Mondo Schlocko, I've never linked to that one before, but the writer likes cheap-ass Brentwood DVD sets (as do I) and cheaply made Polonia brothers films (as do I) so take at look at that
blog. We will find out if he is a fan of my writing. I don't get much negative feedback, but if I invite feedback and get no response, I can only imagine that some people wonder why the fuck I even bother.

CineSchlock-O-Rama brings us some news from an actor reminiscing about his role in Color Me Blood Red. I guess that would be an internet exclusive! This writer appears to have met all the horror stars at Comic-Con. I really should have gone to that.

A bunch of new sites rising up, trying to be the next bloody-disgusting. I hope they blow it the fuck away.

Rate the Dead

Horror Classic Films

Channel 13 Forums

Ok, it's up to you if you want to read this. I wrote a fantasy story for cub a couple of years ago when we were first dating. It's not really horror, but the payoff is pretty good if you get all the way to the end...

In any case, more reviews to follow. I have bought so many videos lately, the floor is gonna cave in on my rich Newport Beach neighbors below. I mean, I just bough a box that had two copies of Maniac Cop in it and two copies of Nightmare Weekend. I thought that being away from Amoeba would slow the flow of horror product into my place. I thought wrong. Stop me from my ebay addiction.

Long before Cryter's death, though not long after Panchan was but dust on the streets, she came to a break in her travels to visit with a wealthy suitor. Indeed he was wealthy, and indeed he was old, as most of her suitor's had been and would be, but she did not love him. Still, she stayed with him at his estate and told him, of all things, that his age would not deter her from staying with him. Perhaps he believed her, perhaps he just wanted to, but he was always conscious of showing his age whenever she was around. As they walked his ground each evening, holding hands, he would always push on when Cryter exclaimed "oh you must be tired". In fact each evenings walk became longer, until the night when passing over the seventh hill, they entered a grove no man had ever wandered into before. The last rays of sun illuminated a twilight setting where a sleek young forest cat arched it's back by a crystal stream to drink the mountain water. Cryter lit up at the sight, but it displeased the older man. He quickly pulled an arrow from his quiver and shot the cat through the heart. Cryter cried out and ran towards the dying animal and the man felt like a fool for reacting out of jealousy. The cat looked up at Cryter and said "I know you would not hurt me, so I will help you. Look at my whiskers, they are solid gold. Pluck them and be rich, they are of no use to me now..." Then the cat closed his eyes forever. Cryter wept. She could not take the gold whiskers and buy happiness as a result of the cat's end. Cryter turned to walk away, then turned back, and pulled one whisker. She would not want to forget this cat.

Every spring came the squirrel games where the mountain squirrels would roll boulders in a race with the humans. The man had never beaten the squirrels, but this year he amassed a new team, recruiting the strongest athletes from the university to play for him. He bragged constantly to Cryter of his upcoming victory and she finally contended, "You may win, but only because of the young men you have paid to play. Even when you were young, you did not beat the squirrels." After hearing this the man's stomach dropped. How could he prove himself? He would role the winning boulder.

Before dawn he rose to go to the plains where he practiced boulder rolling as a youth. He spotted the same boulder he once had practiced with, now covered in moss, but surely a great place to begin practicing. He threw his weight into a push, but then every muscle erupted in excruciating pain. As he lay on the ground convulsing, he began to weep.

The walk home would be long he new. He crawled like a sick fool towards the pond to get some drink and was horrified by his reflection. He was covered in dirt from his convulsions and he looked haggard and old. Surely he could not be seen until he cleaned himself, shaved off his grey stubble, and perhaps even put on a wig. Had it come to that? He did not want to be seen by anyone in this state and decided to walk home through the poor neighborhood where no one he knew would see him limp.

The houses in the poor part of town where dilapidated and the smoke off burning excrement in the streets was quite thick. To avoid the sight of creature's corpses in the road, he paid attention to the signs on the buildings which said queer things like "Here there be Grog", "Mercenaries for Hire", and "Fountain of Youth"... Wait, what was the last one..?, he looked again. The shop's windows were too dirty to see in, but the door creaked open. A muffled voice can from within. "Come in..." There was no one else on the street to obey the command, so he did just that.

The man sat before an old crone of perhaps 489 years. Her tattered robes covered her face, but not her scent. She smelled like garlic and spices mixed with vinegar. It was not common for the man to be confronted by the offensive, but he did not leave. He found himself nodding as she asked him if he wanted to be young again. Did he know he would have to do evil to achieve his wish. He knew. All he would have to do would be to take something from a loved on and carry it with him always. She could not know he took it and it would have to be something dear to her. Well that would be a small sacrifice for his new found virility, would it not? "How true.." cackled the witch.

On Cryter's table sat her prized possessions and the man picked up each one to see what weighed the least. After all, he would have to carry it with him always. Her brush? Made of hard stone. Her music box? Light, but too bulky. Wait... there in a crystal vase stood the golden whisker. He slid it into the waistband of his pants, just in time, as Cryter entered the room.

"What are you doing in here?", she asked. "Nothing." He smiled and felt good as he fled scene, bounding down the spiral steps with ease. Before he new it he was outside looking at his own reflection in the mote. He looked ten years younger, no!, twenty. "What's gotten into you.." yelled Cryter out the window. He looked up at her. He would just have to bound back up those stairs. His new youth made him feels excitement. But then, a sharp pain between his legs. In horror he saw his pants turn red with blood. As he tore off his trousers, his final act in life, he saw that the gold whisker was no longer tucked in his waistband, but was stuck through the head of his penis.

epilogue - where the old man died and where his blood fertilized the ground by the moat, only weeds would grow. Even today, when gardeners are equipped where gasoline motors and genetically engineered grass seeds, that bank is still a thorny tangle.