Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Night of the Living Dead 3D (2006) with Sid Haig, who can't save this movie from being perhaps the worst of the year

Night of the Living Dead 3D is without a doubt the lowest budget film I've seen in a first-run movie theater. There is of course, nothing wrong with that, unless the film is Night of the Living Dead 3D, a total bore that also looks like shit. The 3D is extremely underused. Not guts or blood fly at the screen period, because there is only one gore scene in the entire movie - and that ain't much to see. Twice, joints extend from the screen into the audience, but this trick is only funny the first time. The weed jokes are not very funny. The characters are not very interesting or compelling. Yes, Sid Haig is in this movie, but not enough. I don't know if they just gave him all the good lines, or if he is amazing with even shit material, but all the scenes with him in them are good in a way that make them seem out of place along with the rest of the sterile boredom.

This movie is already dated by the terms used in the film. There are mentions of Mapquest, playing Doom, and the Horror Channel (does that even exist beyond the internet?), as well as the phenomenon of a zombie text messaging, which you've seen if you have suffered through the movie's commercial. I sure hope the text messaging scene will date this movie as I prefer phone calls to texting and hope that this behavior will go out of vogue. I don't think I will be so lucky.

Zombie movies have run their course. It's getting old. Zombie walks, zombie porn, "what would you do if zombies came?" hypothetical conversations... stop it already! By the way, the glasses for this movie are the shitty blue and red kind.

In July I posted about Night 3D for the first time when I found it
getting slammed by fans online just for existing. Many feel that a classic film is being raped.

I would put this movie in league with the original Night of the Living Dead star's directorial retread from 1988, Bill Hinzman's Flesheater. Sure Night 3D is more innovative with the script, but both movies are dull, murky, forgettable, and completely uninteresting to the eye. These movie is dead on it's feet, yeah, that's like a zombie, but one that's stuck in a box with no food to eat and just bangs its head against the wall.


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