Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Mausoleum (1983) was at Grindhouse, Snakes reminder, and The Tooth Fairy DVD from Anchor Bay

1. Grindhouse was last night in L.A., Mausoleum and Lamberto Bava's Demons - I skipped out before Demons, I've watched it too many times. Mausoleum (only on DVD in Europe) was pretty funny. Star Bobbie Bresee was there and her husband brought the print which was being shown for the second time ever. She was surprised there was any interest in the film, but of course there was - show was close to sold out. Bresee still looks great and gave out FREE signed photos. We appreciated that kind of generosity and admire her principles as she told us she does not ever charge for autographs.

The movies features John Carl Buechler make-up. The movie most famous for it's creature with small biting monster heads for boobs.

Before the movie Adam Trash prepared a trailer real with some real sleaze like Scavengers and This Stuff'll Kill Ya!, as well as the Pussycat Theater intro to the feature film from the now defunct porno theater chain.

2. Snakes on a Plane - remember the "
Snakes on the Brain" video.

3. On TV Sunday night, the
William Shatner roast that I just reviewed.

4. The Tooth Fairy (2006)

Ok, remember the crap fest Darkness Falls (2003) that was in the theaters a few years ago. What a piece of shit. Similarities between that movie and this one? Well the new Tooth Fairy runs by and chops off a guy's dick and balls with one quick swing of the hatchet - then we see these organs lying in the grass. Wait... that is a difference between the two movies. I don't think the Tooth Fairy in Darkness Falls even had a hatchet - and she flew or some shit.

This new direct-to-DVD Tooth Fairy film has got a little bit of everything for everyone. Sometimes it's for the kids, or so it seems. Friendly ghosts pop-on screen and off, with a "ping" sound. There is much dialogue about Harry Potter. I don't know why that stuff is in there, but it's kind of amusing in a "you just don't that in a movie these days" way. There are some night scenes that are obviously filmed in the day. I thought that technique had not been used for 20 years! But don't get me wrong, this movie is not amateur hour. The picture is sharp as shit and production values are high. The special effects, mostly make-up and heavy gore, as well as the silly ghost pop-ons I mentioned earlier, all look respectable. It's the script that I had trouble with. Not the overall story, but little bits here and there that are minor, but significant enough to explain why this movie is not playing in a theater near you.

I was frustrated by an early scene where the female leads complains about the state of the recently renovated bed and breakfast. The male lead says something to the extent of "In a week it will look great". Problem? It already looks beautiful and immaculate. If I was the director I'd have changed those lines write there on the set. I'd have fixed things on the fly when the the lines didn't match up with the scenery.

Two fake-out scares in this movie really don't work. I don't like these kind of scares ever, but these two are delivered in an especially poor manor. One is when a girl turns a corner on the porch and comes across - shock - another character lifting weights. The other is when we see someone creeping in the yard and our male protagonist asleep. Boom, he turns around... and his girlfriend is getting into bed with him. These sound like ordinary examples of lame fake-out scares, but no. They fail in ways that I can't describe completely, but are ways that have to do with pacing and camera placement problems. These scares fall flat due to awful execution, not just bad ideas.

Yet on the whole, veteran TV director Chuck Bowman paints a beautiful picture. Aesthetically this movie is often impressive and on the whole enjoyable. Cub and I argued about whether the plot and characters were intentionally cheesy. Initially I though not, but towards the end I got the impression that this movie is intended to be all about fun. Recommended.


Blogger Patrick said...

When are you going to weigh in on The Descent?

12:22 AM  
Blogger warrenzone said...

I gotta see the descent...

10:34 AM  

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