Thursday, June 15, 2006

our friends at Anchor Bay present The Garden and I present a secret hate

I've been struggling with the updates, lately, writing stuff and not posting them - this post will be a combination of two cut posts. I write about costumed out of work actors in this post and I should note that I saw a Spiderman with a fanny pack crossing Hollywood Boulevard about an hour ago. It is easy to take a dig at someone in a fanny pack, so I'll just say that I hope the pack was only full of $15 or $20 dollars earned from a days work with the tourists. I also saw more of these guys taking off their costume heads in public. Sure it's hot, but stay in character!

a great new blog discovered: the badly named
The Horror Blog has covered some stories I'd like to cover myself and hopefully will with credit to The Horror Blog for finding great topical articles.

From my window you can see a huge Superman Returns advertisement that covers one side of the TV Guide building. As you know this is the new gay Superman movie from X-Men and Apt Pupil director Bryan Singer. The X-men movies featured gay values such as acceptance and tolerance for those who are different, while featuring no red state values like marriage being exclusively between a man and a woman. Singer is really pushing the gayness with his Superman, though he insists Superman is straight. The size of the bulge in Superman's tights tells otherwise, or in my opinion, the fact that he is showing this bulge off, proves that he is a gay. Warner Brothers is
covering the bulge with digital effects in the movie. You see, in the red states, men get very upset at the thought of other guys' dicks, let alone other guys' bigger dicks. That is why the urinals there have walls between them that run from the floor to the ceiling, in order to prevent accidental wang gazing.

I gotta say, their is a secret local hate here in Hollywood for the street performers outside of the Chinese Theater and Kodak Theater. I know this is not fair, since they make about $8 every three hours (according to a local article I read about the Storm Trooper "performer"), but they are so hateable. The deal is that they are free agents in unliscensed costumes (quality varies) who will pose with tourists and hopefully get tipped a buck per picture. Some idiots say that they work for the Chinese Theater, but it is obvious to anyone with a brain that no establishment with a reputation to uphold would present such shabby entertainment. What we've got is a band of superheroes in outfits you can buy at the Halloween store. I've seen even worse homemade atrocities and I've seen a Batman in spandex without a codpiece - and I've never been ok since, does this mean I'm a red state guy at heart? The best is when their are two Spidermans out there - I read in the article that tensions can run high between performers.

Horror fans, there is a Freddy and their is a Jason working the street quite regularly. Word is that the Freddy attacked a man who mocked his "costume", which is of course a $15 rubber mask. By the way, in Hollywood and much of Southern California you can buy Halloween costumes all year long at costume stores or the Halloween warehouses, so these costumes are even less impressive as they are extremely easy to acquire.

Anchor Bay is releasing a movie that looks very interesting to me, The Garden, with Lance Henriksen (Aliens, Pumpkinhead) and the beautiful Sean Young (Blade Runner, Stripes). I did not watch the whole trailer because I did not wish to spoil the movie for myself, but the glimpse I had of it showed professional filmaking with good costumes and FX - what I'm saying is that this is not some shot-on-video crap. The synopsis? A little boy has vivid fantastical nightmares that drive him to cut himself. A stay at stranger Herniksen's ranch brings him close to some of the horrors that he has witnessed in his visions. Is this the apocalypse?

Image Hosted by
a still from The Garden - from Anchor Bay - Street Date: July 11, 2006 - available in 16 x 9, Not Rated, Audio Commentary with Director Don Michael Paul

If you have not watched the Larry Klein video for Captain Ahab's "U Want Me", check out this fast loading version on youtube.


Anonymous Steven said...

Oh, Warren, you lovable bastard. I didn't realize that you had changed the name of your blog. Good thing I decided to check out this "150 days of Sodom" on a whim, or I would have been denied your wonderful insight.

And, yeah, I wasn't originally going to go with The Horror Blog because it was so bad, but like many things that are bad for you, it grew on me.

7:20 PM  

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