Saturday, December 30, 2006

Black Christmas the remake - whatever - you already know it blows

Is it even worth getting into detail about how the Black Christmas remake is one of the worst movies of the year? I could cite examples forever. Forever... so I won't, I'll just touch on a few things.

It's complete crap. Bob Clark said he trusted the new filmmakers with his story and would wait until Christmas Day to see the film (my article). I cannot imagine him watching this movie and not being disappointed and extremely let down.

You know, this stuff really isn't funny to me. You can't use a cookie cutter to rip chunks of flesh out of someone's back. You can't stab someone in the neck with a candy cane. It's just goofy looking. Sure the movie does not skimp on gore, but when the violence is all so novel, it's not shocking, it's cheap comedy. Any group of high school horror fans sitting around a cafeteria table and brainstorming about "cool kills" could have written this.

There are no black people in this movie and no minorities. This sounds like I'm kidding, but I'm serious. The crowd was full of black people. Why are they not represented on screen? All of the white girls, the sorority girls, looked the same. Maybe that's the point, but when your audience can't tell one character from another, I swear I could not, then you get a frustrated, disinterested, audience.

This movie is very similar to See No Evil from earlier in the year, but Black Christmas falls flatter on it's own face. I really don't feel like writing about this movie anymore - there is enough stuff about it on the net already - I just wanted to throw in my own little "I hate it too" for the record.

The most interesting thing about this night at the theater was the crowd reaction to the Blood and Chocolate trailer- I just wrote about that in my last post.

I'd also like to say the Chinese Theater is selling movie posters in the lobby which I find extremely tacky. I can understand employees taking them home to sell on ebay, but the theater itself selling goods it got for free and previously used for display - I don't like it. No the posters are not sold in stores, but that does not mean they have any value, at least not at this point. There are thousands of them out there.

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