Friday, April 21, 2006

"that's not a knife - this is a knife!" don't rent Wolf Crock, it sucks so bad!

Yes, the killer uses that line, in what might be the silliest part of this lame Australian movie. There are not many moments like that. This movie is not one of those PG-13 teen slashers, but that alone does not make it good cause actually I'd probably have more fun laughing at one of those shitfests.

I don't want to review Wolf Creek, but I just have to say my "emperor wears no clothes" bit about another movie that people have been tricked into thinking is hip.

Just because this film played at Sundance every horror site that reviewed it gives it rave reviews. So it's not a stupid J-horror remake or rip-off, big fuckin' deal, there are plenty of other recent movies out there from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre school of film making and this one finishes dead last in the pack. TCSM the remake, Hills Have Eyes the remake, Hostel, House of Wax, Wrong Turn, Haute tension, Saw, and Saw II, are all more entertaining than this, and you know some of those movies blow. Wow, this was such a drag and I really don't get why people are writing about how hardcore this was. The villain is one dimensional and totally boring. People write about his "head on a stick" trick like it was sick, but it just looked like a chick getting stabbed in the back to me.

Some guts on the road, rotting corpses, severed fingers, that's it for gore. Jeepers Creepers is more gruesome. Every scene in here also exists in one of the movies I listed above. Do you guys like watching the same movie over and over? How about the victim discovering the killers bulletin board of newspaper articles of missing people? How about the victim finding an area where all the other victims' cars have been stashed? How about the killer being incapacitated and the victim not finishing the job? The list goes on and on.

What about the hand held camera action? Is that cutting edge directing? I hated it. The movie with about 45 minutes without any killing. There is so much build up and then... tame shit. I promise, you will not be shocked by the standard-issue "torture" scenes. Also, there is a non-ending, after all, this movie was "based on true events" and the killer was never caught. That may mean something to Australians, but it doesn't mean shit to me. Forget Wolf Crock, it's a total bore.


Anonymous Fatally*Yours said...

I agree completely...I just watched this sad excuse for a horror movie and also reviewed it on my blog.

Ugh...this is a movie that has zero redeeming qualities. I was so disappointed and pissed by the end of this film, I felt like pulling the "head on a stick" move on anyone involved in the making of this movie.

Not to mention the whole reason why I watched "Wolf Creek" in the first place, which was because people compared it to the original "Texas Chain Saw Massacre." Besides the whole isolation theme, they have nothing in common. People should be ashamed to compare the great TCSM to this utter waste of time.

GRRRRRR...anyways, great review and great site!

8:39 AM  

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