Don't Go Near the Park (1981) played at L.A. Grindhouse and a press release for It Waits (2005)

1st: Net Neutrality - broken down so simply that anyone can understand.

The director's own 25 year old print of Don't Go Near the Park (Nightstalker on Thriller Video) screened at Grindhouse in Hollywood last night. This print and all the prints, were butchered way back when in order to shorten the film. Linnea Quigley's full frontal nude scene was cut, but director Lawrence D. Foldes promised that all the missing footage appears as extras on the DVD, also released yesterday. Also on hand was star Tamara Taylor, who looks exactly the same as she did in the movie, despite the passing of 25 years. In the UK, Anchor Bay is releasing the DVD, and had to provide evidence to the British censors that Taylor was not underage when being shot topless in a nasty Don't Go Near the Park rape scene.

This movie was one of the famous UK video nasties. It is a gore/slasher film and nothing more - according to the director - but watching this movie one could see why some have read to much into the film. There is tons of extraneous junk in this film, much unintentionally funny. It is based on Griffith Park/Bronson Canyon mythology and tells the tale of two 12,000 year old white North American cave people who tear holes into peoples' stomachs and suck the guts. There are sexual and graphic moments as well as very campy sci-fi scenes. I really don't won't to go into details as some of you might want to check out this movie without me ruining it. Seeing it with a drunk laughing Los Angeles audience would be ideal, but I doubt anyone else will get that opportunity. Director, Foldes, says he was very pleased that anyone was even left last night after the closing credits rolled. He takes full responsibility for this movie, as producer, director, and CO-writer, which is a very standupthing to do since these last two roles are practically criminal with a movie like this. As a producer, I congratulate him, for finishing this ridiculous, but ambitious, project.

We were treated to previews from Foldes personal collection, several of which were for a couple of his action b-movies (The Great Skycopter Rescue, Young Warriors) and well as his first film, the sleazy Malibu High. These are movies that the audience expressed a strong desire to see. None of them are on DVD.

Despite Don't Go Near the Park being on of the worst films I've seen, it was a video nasty, a bloodbath, starred Linnea Quigley, and several other Hollywood names, so completists may have to take note. It's like Jerry Warren movie with gore, so if you want to see something that was certainly NOT ahead of it's time, get the DVD.

After Don't Go Near the Park, The House on the Edge of the Park (1980, Ruggero Deodato), screened, and the drunken laughter and heckling from the crowd were really not appropriate for this movie, which is one of the most brutal ever. In fact, there were more unfunny lines thrown at the screen during this movie than there were during Don't Go Near the Park. Some times, vile acts bring laughter, because we don't have any better way to respond to them. Still, there was too much here. At least, during the climax, there were squeals of discomfort from some. David Hess' line to the virgin, that she would never forget her first time, landed with near dead silence from the crowd. I guess at least that one made them uncomfortable.

I always blame the kids for fucking thing up. The kids are messing up the internet, the kids are ruining the show. I made a remark that the kids did not understand House on the Edge of the Park, but a look at the crowd revealed not a single kid in attendance. Kids just don't live in Hollywood and these movies play past their bedtimes. It was a fully adult crowd, totally different from what I see when going to the stadium-seating multiplex in Costa Mesa to see new horror hits.

David Hess did not appear in person. He is getting his Masters in San Francisco. The print of House on the Edge of the Park is from Quentin Tarantino's personal collection.

Next: In a controversial move, I will reprint a press release for It Waits (2005):

TROY , MI – Anchor Bay Entertainment, an IDT Entertainment Company, presents the terrifying story of a dark legend come to life seeking vengeance on mankind. From acclaimed writer/producer Stephen J. Cannell (“A Team”, “Hunter”, “Profit”, “ 21 Jump Street ”) comes… It Waits! Premiering on DVD May 23 rd , 2006 , consumers won't have to wait any longer to thrill at the extensive bonus features including behind-the-scenes footage and interviews of the cast and writers, in addition to a feature-length audio commentary. SRP is $19.98 and pre-book date is April 12.

Written by Cannell, Thomas E. Szollosi (“Mythquest”) and Richard Chris tian Matheson ( Masters of Horror ) and directed by Steven R. Monroe ( House of 9 ), It Waits focuses on a tale taken from Native American folklore of a lost Human Being whose vicious resentments fueled an anger so fierce that its soul was banished from the world of the living. What happens when this malevolent spirit returns – can anyone stop its relentless and destructive powers?

After her best friend is killed in an auto accident in which she was the driver, Forest Ranger Danielle St. Clair (Cerina Vincent – “CSI”, Not Another Teen Movie ) moves into a secluded watchtower in the mountains to bury herself in her work, unaware that something else is buried in the forest. A spirit of the underworld – a victim of its own evil bitterness long entombed in a cave. For a chance to escape and exact its bloody revenge, it waits…

And when accidentally released, the peaceful forest becomes a killing ground. Only Danielle and her fiancé Justin (Dominic Zamprogna, “Battlestar Galactica”) are left to stand up against this ancient nightmare.

I should be seeing the movie soon. Also, tonight, I may go to the Newport Beach film festival, still going on in my town, to see the German film Happy End. Depends how much coffee I have tonight.