Thursday, December 09, 2004

The Mangler 2 (2001)

The Mangler 2 stars Lance Henriksen, star of Alien and Pumpkinhead, perhaps someone who belonged on my top ten horror actors list. My paragraph about him would be similar to the one I wrote about Jeffrey Combs. "Was great in great movies, now stars in every shitty genre movie that comes out." That's not a quote from my list at all, I'm paraphrasing myself.

I am a fan of Lance Henriksen, but not of this movie. I'm not alone. This movie is universally ridiculed by the millions of unlucky viewers who rented it or caught the film on late night cable. It is so hated that it is in danger of becoming a cult classic. The reason we all laugh at this movie is because it's a teen comedy, that gets the teens all wrong. Some script writer out there is way out of touch with the youth of today. I would compare this movie to Bring It On Again, the embarrassing video sequel to the hit cheerleader movie. (both Mangler 2 and Bring It On Again star ugly chicks ...a cheap shot, but it's what I was thinking)

So I've got the DVD of this film. I got it with a box of videos I bought on ebay. Usually I don't bother with the extras and special features, but the I obviously hate myself enough to try them all out on this DVD. We've got interviews with the writer/director and his brother. They work as a team. Now I've never really said anything nasty in this blog. I've said stuff to raise eyebrows, stuff that's pretty harsh, but never have I pissed all over a movie or movie makers. Well I going to make a statement that is not nice. The guys who brought us Mangler 2 should never make a movie again. They will never make a movie that anyone will like. They are clueless and so, so, soooo uncool. They hype this shit up during the making of segment. They think it's going to be loved and hint that Mangler 3 and Mangler 4 are right around the corner. Not true, The Manger 2 made a big splash like a log landing in the porcelain bowl of the movie world. It rose to #3 on the imdb's worst movies of all time list. That's really something.

As for the rest of the special features? Unfunny out-takes (but in fairness, are they ever funny?) and a trailer that shows how the movie ends. (but in fairness, don't all trailers do that?) Then there are the rock videos that are both slicker looking than the film. The two videos and all the music in the movie come from the same band. A pop/industrial group who's songs range from awful to catchy. I used to hate this kind of music, but it's grown on me. I like the similar band Godhead. My girlfriend likes all those Metropolis records bands that are the rage right now. She was in the other room when I was watching the extras and told me to "turn off that horrible music". It must not be similar to the 'darkwave' bands she likes. More like the ear candy I go for and my taste in music is questionable, so I've been told. The new bands that I like always end up in the cutout-bin, so my favorite tune from Mangler 2, it was doomed from the start. Sorry guys, you won't be the next Stabbing Westward.

Here is the funniest thing about the DVD. I missed one of the kills because my DVD skipped. Well it turns out that every DVD skips that scene. The discs are all defective! I guess the Mangler virus got into them all. (Ha Ha, I bet every review makes that joke) Those douche bags who mad the movie tried to suggest that something mysterious was going down on the set. They experienced unexplained technical failures during filming. Well this DVD error is the worst thing that could happen, bet they aren't laughing at this fuck-up. Maybe they will talk about it on one of the extras on Mangler 3. Oh wait, no they won't, Mangler 3 is being made by someone else. Someone who is gonna forget that this Mangler ever happened and bring of back to the direction taken by the original.

Actually everything Mangler sucks including the original. Mangler 3 will be coming to use from the man responsible for the atrocious Rodentz, so don't get even a little excited.

this sucks and so will The Mangler 3

The scoop (of shit) on The Mangler 3


Blogger Patrick said...

Hide the Cheese!!

I notice Rodentz was released by Artisan. They put out tons Blockbuster horror garbage. Any good movie they release, is usually butchered or released in Pan and Scan.

Have you seen the Pit and the Pendulum? The Full Moon remake. Probably the biggest budget movie they put out. Lance Henriksen is great in that. He isn't great in Alien Vs Predator.

10:58 AM  
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2:35 AM  

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