"Genius", "still manages to fill me with girlish glee every time". Is that what the critics are saying about Zombie 5: Killing Birds? ... No! That's Steven from Corpse Eaters writing on this blog, thank you very much! See his post on the exciting writing that makes up the warrenzone/bloodbath horror blog.
Zombie 5: Killing Birds from Claudio Lattanzi and allegedly, Joe D'AmatoZombie 5: Killing birds is not that bad, but by no means is it epic or apocalyptic. I guess I have to give you guys the background on the Zombie series in case you are uniformed. Did you know that Romero's Dawn of the Dead was called Zombie: Dawn of the Dead in Europe? It was, and over there they have a Dario Argento cut of the movie that has a soundtrack by Goblin. It's true. You know the Fulci movie Zombie? Well in Europe that one is called Zombie 2. There is no American Zombie 2, we skip to the European Zombi 3, also directed by Fulci, until he turned it over to the team of Bruno Mattei (Rats: Night of Terror, recently reviewed here) and Claudio Fragasso (Troll 2 - here). Fragasso then made Zombie 4: After Death, which came in the Zombie Pack ($15 at Best Buy) with Zombi 3 and the unrelated Zombie 5: Killing Birds. By the way, there are other Zombie 4 and Zombie 5 movies out there, from other directors including Jess Franco.
Put that confusion behind you. This movie has maybe two zombies in it, but they do some serious damage to the researching college kids on the bayou, staying in the same house where The Beyond was filmed. The birds? One of them rips the eye out of Robert Vaughn's socket. I was not familiar with the actor, but there is an interview with him as a DVD extra. I'll break my policy of not reviewing the extras. Vaughn does not remember this movie much at all so he barely speaks of it, instead telling stories from various Corman movies that he stared in. All of this commentary is spliced in with the kill scenes from Zombie 5 and we get a chance to to see the eye plucking scene two more times. Nice.
Now for cub speaks:
Why were you happy when the blind man put on his sunglasses?
I was finally able to watch the scene and see what was going on when he put his sunglasses on to cover up his gouged out eye. Cub, you know I can't watch movies that show people's eyes gouged out. It's grotesque and makes me want to faint and vomit.
Were you mad when I said that guy's portable 1988 laptop reminded me of your old computer? Yes, you were quite rude when you made a smart mouth remark about his laptop looking like my old computer that looked like it was made in the 70's. Ok so I was not with the times and had an oldy moldy computer. As you already know I am not technologically advanced darling, which is why I have you for that!
What kind of bird was your favorite? you liked one of them...
I did like the white cockatoo very much. Can we get one, so it can sit on my shoulder as I bring it to different places with me? Please bear, please.
Are you excited for George Romero's Land of the Dead will Phil Fondacaro and Asia Argento? I am thrilled for Land of the Dead, and I can't wait to see how sexy little Asia Argento has all grown up. She will probably look hot, what do you think? This may end up to be a masterpiece, who knows. I am hoping for it though.
The results are in for the day June 4th in Burbank. All the dirt and the shit talk is here on sceneholocaust.com, go there, click on the bloody psychopath, and read my essay.
I would have posted sooner, but it's been busy. The next post will be a review of Zombie 5: Killing Birds.
I'll spare the posters of these messages (on the bloody-disgusting board) certain embarrassment by withholding their lame usernames.Scream 4 - I cut some of the shit out of this post, here is the basic story..."Cursed" had to be shot twice. Everyone knows that. The first time they shot "Cursed", it didn't turn out so good. Cast members dropped out, the MPAA didn't approve of it, etc. (Those may not be the official reasons, but "Cursed" didn't turn out so good, either way.) The second time they shot "Cursed", everything came about smoothly. However, this is what I've been thinking...
What if "Cursed" wasn't shot twice? What if the movie they originally shot was in fact "Scream 4"? After all, there was a rumor going about that said Neve Campbell was contracted to "Cursed", but also had to do "Scream 4". And what about the other cast members? Skeet Ulrich, Omar Epps, and Scott Foley were all contracted to be in "Cursed", but dropped out. It's funny because all three of them were also in the "Scream" movies. And in the final product of "Cursed", Portia de Rossi appears and was also in "Scream 2". It all makes sense, doesn't it?
So the truth is that Scream 4 so not working out so they made a few changes, added a werewolf, and there you go. In the words of the poster "I think there's something really serious going on."Leprechaun Part 7: The Lost City of Atlantis???Is this true? I read somewhere they plan on making a Leprechaun 7, where it will take place beneath the sea, where he will travel to the lost city of Atlantis and kill the Aquanets. These are people who live in the city of Atlantis, an underwater city full of treasures. The Leprehaun finds out theres much gold to be recieved when he discovers the Aquanets have a fortune under the sea. I have no idea how true this is, so can somebody please tell me this is a crock of shit....or they really dumb enough to go through with such a movie?I don't know, I think that's pretty funny...These people will be and the Fangoria convention tomorrow and I should be allowed to cut them in line.
I'm not a big fan of Orange County, but I'm even less of a fan of the stretch of freeway between here and Los Angeles. Poor Cub has to drive it to take us to the Fangoria convention in Burbank tommorow morning. At least the traffic won't be bad. I tell her that there will be grab bags of free goodies. Oh, there better be. Expect a full report on sceneholocaust.com!
I like to go online during my lunch breaks at work, but today a guy from corporate was in the office and I decided to stay out of view in the breakroom. No good magazines have come in yet this week so I grabbed a somewhat mangled copy (too bad, no one will buy it with this bent up cover) of 'The Haunted World of Mario Bava' from our book section. I doubt it was damaged by customers flipping through it. That section of the store gets very little traffic. We probably battered it ourselves one of the many times we condensed the ever-shrinking book section in order to make it take up less valuable floor space. The particular book is pretty heavy duty, so I barely finished it in the 45 minutes allotted for my break.
Ok, I mean I barely finished looking at the pictures in that time. There is a lot of poster art inside along with stills from all of his movies. Each one gets a chapter. The introduction is written by Luigi Cozzi who directed Contamination and wrote the much hated Devilfish for Mario's son, Lamberto Bava. Cozzi got his start as a fan and as the Italian corespondent to Famous Monsters of Filmland. He was the first journalist to tell Mario Bava that he thought he was a good director. Here is the scoop: None of Bava's films played in first run theaters in Italy. Critics would not bother to review the movies, thinking them too low to even comment on. The interviews at the back of the book (at least one by Cozzi) reveal that Bava did not think much of his own films either. He comes off as very humble. Cozzi speaks well of him.
Bava began to get respect as his protégé Dario Argento became well known.
Bava's one flaw is overuse of the zoom lens.
Not sure if this fact is mentioned in the book, it must be, it's a fun bit of trivia. Friday the 13th Part 2 rips of multiple kill scenes from the far more gory Bava pre-slasher, Bay of Blood.
unrelated Peter Cushing talk - the following paragraph from a review of Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge Of The Sith:
And when Darth Vader and the Emperor stand triumphant on the flight deck of their ship, they are joined at the end by an actor bearing a remarkable resemblance to the late Peter Cushing, the original Grand Moff Tarkin. So with Christopher Lee as the menacing Count Dooku at the beginning, this Star Wars in a way brings together the two old Hammer Film horror actors.
Yes, I'm a big Peter Cushing fan, I called him the greatest horror star of all time on a list I made for this blog. Cushing died in 1994 so seeing this person (briefly, he has no lines) who looked very much like him really surprised me. An internet search turned up fans in at least two places who think that it was either a digital Cushing or old Cushing footage inserted in the film. No. IMDB user UnforgivenSpaceCowboy sets it straight:
He is not digitally created...he was played by the versatile Wayne Pygram who I fear was cut out of the film like many of the other Episode IV-VI characters were (for example Mon Mothma) etc. Since Tarkin is my favorite original trilogy character, it sucked his role was cut. But then again, I could be wrong...he did walk away as soon as Vader and Sidious stepped up to the window...but I do know for a fact he wasn't digital.
unrelated - horror blogs in full effect - the following horror blogs are active and I've been reading them... if anyone feels left out, leave a comment with your link..
Corpse Eaters
Dark, But Shining this includes writer Sam Costello whom I like
M Valdemar
Groovy Age of Horror
LaVarious
Demonia is thought by many to be Fulci's worst film because it's uninspired and way low budget with a hazy/slightly blurred look to it. The gore effects are the saving grace, that, and the camera movement in and out, this way and that - if you like that sort of thing, and I do.
Demonia - bootleg tapegore spoilers...
tongue nailed to block - by ghost upside down man ripped in half by ropes tied to two trees (à la in Cut and Run) in front of his own child (a bonus) women mauled by cats - clearly puppet effects - eyes pop If I got the details wrong, that's sad, because I only watched it three weeks ago. I was holding off, waiting for a Cub Speaks, but since she slept through the second half of the movie and is now out of town, we don't get one. So I've watched a bunch of movies lately. Well parts of a bunch of movies, or movies divided up into several sittings. This week has finally allowed for me to have some stretches of free time, which are being eaten by myspace, more on that later. I've got a big bag of DVDs that I got as promos and the most represented company in the batch would be Troma. The quality of these reissues varies greatly. I'm not talking technical specs, I mean they are either good or they suck. Fatty Drives the Bus will not be put back into my DVD player. As for the South African Pure Blood, about white supremacist zombies, I'll never see the action scenes where it becomes Dead Alive, the movie it obviously wants to be. I'm working on Mad Dog Morgan, a seventies action film with Dennis Hopper as an Irish bandit in 1850's Australia. It is watchable and I'll finish it tonight. For some reason this DVD and a bunch of the other Troma discs include a pair of Peta2 shorts telling viewers to go vegetarian. Of course, if you know me, I approve of the message. I could not get through Meet Your Meat, which is made up of clips of animals being slaughtered. I excused myself because I'm already vegan. The Goldfinger rock video included and advertised on the cover of some of the titles is all footage of animal death as well. If you told a kid at an Earth Crisis show in 1997 that Goldfinger would be the leading animal rights band from 2003-2005, they would think you were crazy - but they are and they probably have alienated a lot less people than Earth Crisis did. I also have some titles from Synapse and No Shame Video, the latter which I had not heard of until now. They are introducing the Sergio Martino Collection, perhaps hoping fans will be confused and think they are buying something from the Dario Argento Collection. I know I slammed Sergio Martino before for the Slave of the Cannibal God's animal deaths, but I can still give him some critical praise. Case of the Scorpion's Tale, from the series, is one of the best giallos I've ever enjoyed, with some camera work that was completely different than anything I've ever seen. Unrelated topic - myspace friendships with punk bandsI thought that when I joined I would never want to be 'friends' with any bands, especially ones made up by total strangers who's records I do not own. My resolve was further strengthened when first logging on I discovered that Audioslave had thousands of friends, many who thank the band personally 'for the ad'. Yeah right, it's the low level record label interns that they should be thanking. Then I saw Pig Champion on someone else's profile. Fuck yeah I wanna be friends with him. And then then I saw the Angry Samoans, Hirax (with a huge amount of friends), and SFA (I did not know they were still around!) and of course I had to ad them too. Surely Metal Mike is running the Angry Samoans profile... we are not talking about the Foo Fighters here. We might not become pen pals, but at least these guys will read my messages. So there is a middle ground, but it gets lame. I saw that Refused has a profile. Even in the tacky bio provided it says that they broke up. What good is it to be linked to them except to wear their icon as a badge of coolness on your profile? It's no good. Clearly their account was put up be someone from Epitaph or Victory who probably runs a bunch of profiles for defunct or even current bands. Why are the kids writing comments to Refused about how they were the best? What's more that band International Noise Conspiracy has the myspace.com/refused URL and discuss Refused there. What is the point of this Refused profile? Either to sell old records or for something totally different. Why there are 5 or 6 fake profiles of 18 Visions singer James Hart? People just like to pretend to be someone else. It's lame, I can't relate, I just want to be me. Of course... if your intent in making a fake profile is to ridicule them... well I totally get that.
This one took five sittings. It's from Bruno Mattei, who goes as Vincent Dawn. Not only does he borrow his name from Dawn of the Dead, he also borrows the Goblin soundtrack for his best known film, Night of the Zombies. He's made every type of exploitation film. Caligula films, nunsploitation, Emanuelle films, cannibal movies, nazi sex movies, and Porno Holocaust. Yeah, a lot of these are on my TO SEE list, but not his mondo films. Mattei thinks it's ok to kill animals in his movies. More on that later.
Rats - Night of TerrorThe last ten seconds of Rats are really good. If you've got the video tape, the back and side of the box will spoil this ending for you. Hopefully the DVD case is more discreet. Up until the end, the movie is a total drag, with a few moments of interesting gore when rats bust out of the bodies of the dead and dying. Other than that, it's all painful dialogue, bad editing, and buckets of live rats being poured on the actors. Nothing about the rat attacks is convincing. They are clearly harmless, but that does not stop the cast and crew from kicking and killing a bunch of them for real on screen. Fuck all those pieces of shit.
I love Italian movies, but this is the worst one I've seen. I'm not just saying that because of the cruelty. It is slow and boring.
more shit:
I was down in the gym and one of the Blade movies was on TV. Real poor. Blade, Underworld, and Queen of the Damned will all be available in the upcoming Trenchcoat Mafia Collection that comes with a limited edition glow stick. Spencer Gifts is taking pre-orders for the true horror fans.
and this:
Film starlet Linnea Quigley is vegan. Here is the info.
Quigley has stared in a bunch of classics: Return of the Living Dead, Silent Night, Deadly Night, Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers, and Night of the Demons.
From what I read, this scream queen would never have worked on crap like Rats. She once reported a director to the Humane Society for allegations of animal cruelty on the set. Also she has rescued giant African rats - whatever those are. She speaks out for the animals at horror conventions. Sadly she is not scheduled for the...
Fangoria convention in Burbank next weekend! Will it suck? Expect a whole report with the shit talk.
I did a little bit of research, nothing in depth. I'm not going to crucify the band for being friends with Hot Hot Heat, that really is not relevant. Friends are friends, you are lucky is you have any. What is relevant is the back ground vocals that do that metalcore/screamo thing of trailing the lead singer's words with an At the Gates-like growl. Every band does that today all the way on up to Hawthorne Heights. According to the press release 3 Inches of Blood are about pre-85 metal. Cool, but so are a lot of bands that don't get as much press because they've got less links to the trendy hardcore scene. It's plain as day that hardcore has hijacked heavy metal, at least on the Headbanger's Ball (only seen one episode) and in the metal magazines. I don't need to explain myself.
best record COVER of the year - from Ed Repkafrom the 3 Inches of Blood press release:
Since inception, this purity of vision has earned the band critical acclaim in metal and alternative circles alike. Due to this bubbling under at the press level, Roadrunner Records took notice of the group's demo, and signed the band in 2004. "We're kind of in a weird position, considering the more modern leaning lineup of that label," says Hooper. "We're nu-metal's greatest enemies, so it's a weird juxtaposition for us. But let's just say that we fit in very well with their back catalogue - Annihilator, Pestilence, King Diamond, Suffocation. We're very pleased to be a part of that."
I like the quote, however, nu-metal is just plain dead so the claim is not too bold. The torch of shit has been passed on to the genre of metalcore. Could we ask this guy to say "We're metalcore's greatest enemies."? Or, are they metalcore sympathizers?
Fortunately, the lead vocals here are high pitched. It took my some time to place it, but at times the singing reminded me most of the guy from the stoner rock band Trouble. King Diamond comes to mind as well, though in a more generic form here. What I mean is that King Diamond's voice is more distinct.
I'm not going so far to say that this band is mocking metal, as some have speculated, in part because they toured with The Darkness. No, we live in a post-ironic age. It's impossible to be 100% true like those guys in Manowar. That band lives off the beaten path and was completely oblivious to an entire decade. The rest of us can't help but smile at some of the classical elements of metal. That does not mean that we don't love those elements and can't be genuinely moved by them. Anyway, 3 Inches of Blood said that metal was the best kind of music in the world, or something to that extent.
Well, this sure as fuck as not meant to be a puff piece on 3 Inches of Blood. I'm listening to the record now and not really digging it. Here are some metal bands I got promos of lately that are better than 3 Inches of Blood:
Rhapsody - have collaborated with Christopher Lee on record and on stage, but that is the album I don't have
Visions of Atlantis - symphonic, male and female vocals - love this one
Kamelot - power metal or progressive, something...
Korpiklaani - if Flogging Molly was a metal band... ok, that makes it sound awful, but this shit is great
Anyway, I don't really like bands official websites, too commercial, so there are no hyper links. I swear I'm not being lazy. If you are serious about looking for shit about these bands you will do a search anyway. Some of my friends have recently asked what bands I've been listening too lately. Well here you go. By the way, I really don't like the new Judas Priest, maybe the included DVD is good. Everything comes with extras these days. More for free, dual discs... That can't be bad, but for some reason I'm not bothering to celebrate.
It's funny, but I rarely ask friends for advice on what records to buy. I just grab whatever shit is cheapest in the bargain bin. That's been my way for some time now.
In conclusion, who gives a damn about the metal scene. Some of the power metal bands or pretty imaginative and I harbor no ill will towards their dorky fanbase, but the bulk of metal heads are shitty dudes who watch Faces of Death videos and jerk off to Suicide Girls, so fuck it.
I'm back on myspace after a year of resistance. Besides using it to stay in touch, I'd like to meet people who read and write, make websites, or work on various projects, so send me a message if you enjoy my bloodbath horror blog and we can be friends.
my profile link - http://www.myspace.com/16860887 - this makes me less anonymous when it comes to my posts, I've got to own up to all my controversial statements...
By the way, Cub, of 'Cub Speaks' fame, is on myspace as well. Her name is Joanna and she is the first or second person shown in everyone's friend box including mine. I don't know how she gets such good placement and neither does she. I'll do some research and see if it's random or if myspace can be manipulated in some way. Anyway, to be her friend you'd better message her first or you will be denied for sure. Tell her you love 'Cub Speaks', because I know you do.
What I like about myspace is that people have taken a lot time putting together their pages and writing stuff in their myspace blogs - hours of entertainment for my lunch breaks at work - though I have resolved to try to read books during that time as well. I picked 'Legacy of Blood: A Comprehensive Guide to Slasher Movies' (Jim Harper) off of the shelf. It focuses on the slasher film, which it considers to be a cousin or product of the Italian giallo, and while the author wants to reserve the subject of giallos for another book, he does mention a bunch of connections between the types of films. So far I've read about the first wave of slashers, most of which I have tapes of.
I had three sites I wanted to put up links too, but only one is really important. I've been reading a blog Church of the Nihilistic Goat and enjoying it very much. Rock journalism for fans of Angel Rot, Charles Manson, Wolf Eyes, and other bands and records that push the envelope. Plus it's funny, irreverent, and feels like it comes from the backwoods - Canada...
I had to talk to a Canadian customer for about 45 minutes yesterday. She looked a lot like fellow Canadian Alanis Morissette, but with the most indecisive, insecure, person I've ever dealt with in retail. It was seriously mind-numbing and launched me into a depression about my job that lasted into the early evening. I almost lost my shit, but managed to stay soft spoken and reassuring throughout the whole conversation. I just broke my no-blogging-about-work rule. Fuck. I'm fired.
I was walking home from work and I walked by what must have been a hardcore show at the Chinese restaurant. There were kids gathered out front, a girl working the door, vans parked out front, etc... Everyone was in black with that O.C. look, definitely a metalcore show. Some young kid in a wheelchair was there. I couldn't tell if there was something wrong with him or not. You can't tell just by looking at someone. He was there with a hardcore kid next to him, maybe a brother, I don't know, probably a good person and not someone who just gets paid to watch after him. Wheelchair Kid, preteen and dressed like a normal person (shorts and colored t-shirt), was babbling loudly to a bunch of really good looking fashionable kids on the curb, maybe just talking to everyone in his slurred voice, saying he was "an original metalhead" or something. A fascinating story I'm sure, but the scene kids sitting down seemed absolutely mortified that he was talking to them. They were turned away from him, looking only his way out of the corners of their eyes. Hey, maybe I'm misreading the situation, but it sure looked like he was not one of the crew. I did not stop to people watch or take in more of what was going on. The most good looking stylish group you'll ever see and this wierdo was fucking it up, but making it obvious to me that some beauty is only skin deep.I get uncomfortable around different people too. I have phobias, but I won't let them know it from now on. This situation, it just made me sick. Sexuality, affluence, hair styles, getting connected... Fuck hardcore kids.
I'm home from school with a bug. It makes me sleep and kills my stomach. I'm quick to blame food poisoning for any problem that I've got, but I can't think of anything suspect that I ate. In fact, I've had nothing but spaghetti and coffee for several days. Well at least I can work on my "To Do" list that is about a mile long.
There has been no time to review movies lately. No time to even watch movies. I'll be much happier when there is.
People seem generally displeased with my Coachella pics. Cool.
No... I did get mostly positive feedback, but at least there was at least this bit on the buddyhead message board.
Wow - you mention the cobrasnake like 100 times. You even called him a "famous Hollywood photographer". That guy is a no-talent assclown douchebag. He doesn't do shit. You also mentioned something about the crowd being very punk rock, edgy, and fashion aware of something. Very lame. I hope the whole site is a joke.
If you are wondering what I'm doing on the buddyhead board, I'm looking for fun forums to promote my work, but having trouble finding any. The buddyhead board is pretty dead. Is all the action on myspace? Are all message boards dead? I will find out and tell you.
So I discovered that most people get to my blog through search engines, by like, twenty to one or something. My loyal readers are still the most important ones, but I'm excited by my discovery, thanks to StatCounter.
The search terms are the expected, like titles of the movies I review, animal rights stuff, punk top ten lists, even some scenester fashion queries... Some were more specific, like the locust is ruining hardcore for fat kids jessica hopper. Awesome, I did write about that. My favorite was pictures of a deformed vaginas. Yup, deformed vaginas has come up more than once by searchers. Can I help it if the movies I write about are perverse? No I can't.
I'm gonna redesign this site again soon, around the end of the month, and I'll bring you a Cub Speaks homepage with an interview.
America's Next Top Model ended the season in a way that pleased me. It's one of the only shows I watch besides the news networks. Unfortunately they did a 'Got Milk' print ad this season. Gross cum shots. I mean it, it's not just in my brain, that shit is dirty.
Milk is obscene... deformed vaginas in the horror flicks? I've got no problem with that.
part 3 is up at sceneholocaust.com!
more Coachella:
Tyson has his reviews up on his myspace page. They are in the blog section on the right. I'm in the stories a lot cause I spent 90% of the 3 days with him - so warren fans have to read that stuff.
here is Coachee, a little statue, posing with performers and some celebs - who could easily afford tickets, but probably got a free ride just like they always do... can't blame them though.
Make Your Own Coachella Blog Post - not anything like mine
go over to sceneholocaust.com to see the next exciting installment of my Coachella photo essay. also:
my friend wrote about Coachella in her blog - shootsofstars - I took funny pictures of her eating a tasty burrito, but did not put them in Coachella photo essay pt. 2, sorry everyone...
thebubbledeath has writing about the scene and a horror theme! I like it.
It's not Cabin Fever, but it's probably as good as Wrong Turn, a movie in the tradition of The Hills Have Eyes. No little kids making drawings, no ghosts, no big plot twists, thank God. It's aimed at teens, but without looking obvious like Cursed did a couple of months ago. I know I'm not supposed to review these new movies here, but I was very surprised by this one. It's got little resemblance to the Vincent Price original expect for a character being named "Vincent" in tribute. Lots of gore and not a lot of Paris Hilton, who degrades herself in this movie with a scene referencing her sex tape.
I bet this movie turns out to be better than Devil's Rejects. O.M.G., I did say that.
Sin City, I saw that one this week as well. Even though I don't like computer generated movies, I will admit that I enjoyed watching this film. What I don't get is how some people, like bloody-disgusting.com, are giving this movie ten out of ten stars, putting it on the level with Kill Bill and The Godfather. I attribute some of this hysteria to the nerd factor. While I am a horror nerd who will buy a stack of empty Lighting Video boxes just to put in my stash and I own three copies of the same Media poster for Sleepaway Camp, I am by no means a comic nerd. I think what gets comic nerds off is saving the girl or getting revenge on whomever it is preying on the innocent, especially attractive girls. The more twisted the killer, the better, and in Sin City we have the ultimate example (spoiler) when the pedophile Yellow Bastard gets his penis ripped off by Bruce Willis. While I do want justice for scum bags in the real world and do believe that revenge is an attractive element in the film world, this scenario reminds me of fantasies I had as an adolescent before I'd ever had a girl friend. A bunch of hoods, with rape on their minds would approach the cute girl from my French class on the train. I'd pop out, like Casey Jones from Ninja Turtles and decapitate them all. A pathetic little fantasy? Absolutely. I still day dream, but getting a girlfriend is no longer a figment of my imagination. With that said, here is the Cub Speaks on House of Wax.
Cub, why did you want to call Child Services when you saw some theater goers coming up the aisle steps?
Those parents were shitty and do not deserve to have children. There needs to be some mastermind our there who can sterilize those ignorant fools so that they stop making littles that they can not even take care of. Who brings a two year old to see a violent horror movie, and even worse the idiotic mom does not even have the decency to step out of the theater when the child is bawling for more than half the movie. Sorry cub, I can talk about this for ever but it gets me worked up so I will stop.
One day Cub, I'm going to by you a house. You know I plan to instal a wax Chamber of Horrors in the basement. Is this cool with you?
Oh no horror chamber in the basement ;)
Next: Coachella pix, pt 2, I begin to talk shit...
The first part of my Coachella photo essay is done and posted on sceneholocaust.com where I now will be posting the image-heavy entries to this blog. I intend to always post here first so if you check this blog for new content you won't miss any shit.
The Coachella pics will be divided up three ways with each set being better than the previous. There is also a lot of commentary.
it's new... sceneholocaust.com
I'm excited to say that this blog got reviewed by the brutal review site Blogg'd. The review mostly focuses on my most recent post on the killer fetus film, The Unborn.
check it out:
This blog claims to be the leading vegan horror fan site, which I guess you could say caters to a niche market (much in the same way mail order school girl panties for horny Japanese businessmen is a niche market). I assumed when I started reading the most recent post the blog would cover reviews for horror films but quickly discovered that the author must be suffering from a severe case of meat deprivation combined with acid flash backs. In said post, a review of The Unborn, what starts out as a glimpse into the mind of a person who would love to see a master race of fetuses tearing people apart and the desire to ogle deformed vaginas quickly turns into a monologue about why he became a vegan, his stance on abortion, and sex advice for guys who have never heard of birth control. Normally I can look past the bad grammar, poor spelling and crappy sentence structure in a blog but this guy in the same post claims to have parents that work in schools and higher education (I can only imagine that they hold the posts of lunch lady and janitor). After browsing through a few more posts and marveling at the kindergarten graphics the only use I could find for this site is as a visual aid in a presentation on the harmful effects of heavy drug use. I figure the best way to sum up this review and provide a bit of helpful advice to the author would be to quote him directly from one of his posts: "I've got two words for you... JERK OFF!"
Coming up next will be my photo essay on the Coachella Festival where you can see pictures of people who really are on drugs.
This is a nasty killer fetus movie from Roger Corman and director Rodman Flender. It features forgettable background music from Gary Numan. Lisa Kudrow shows up in one scene. I hate her.I had a poster for this movie, but I left it on the floor with some crap posters and then they were destroyed in a flood. Now I find out that this movie was good! ^$^#%%^$&$!!! anyway... about the movie...
Lesbians, portrayed as anti-male, run a Lamaze class and a women makes a smart remark about a turkey baster. Then she follows up by saying "suck my dick" to one of the lesbians. The main character, who we are sympathetic too, laughs at this joke, so the homophobic remarks are not being frowned upon by the filmmaker. That's it though, the gays are not excessively demonized as star Brooke Adams tries to contact them later for help. I won't mention what happens in that scene cause it's a shocker the caught me by surprise.Shocks? Sure, it's pretty bloody for a 90's film, from a decade where a lot of filmmakers played it safe. In one scene (spoiler coming), two back alley abortionists look at Mrs. Adam's vagina and make some comments about it that neither Cub not I could make out on our muffled video tape. We got the impressing that it was messed up looking (the rest of her has a rash) and if I'd made the movie we would've been treated to shot a shot of a prosthetic vagina with gross deformities and evidence of the impending birth of this super fetus. I doubt such a scene was filmed and cut, this movie does not go that far, although their are fetus explosions and the guts do rain down from above.The movie does not take a stance on abortion which is maybe why we the abortionists survive unscathed. A better movie would have an army of surviving fetuses tear them to bits. We HAVE TO see that scene in a film someday. The fetuses are extremely strong and intelligent, genetically programed to be a new master race, though skin color is not mentioned as an issue. The real monster is of course the doctor behind the project. As I a see it, the fetuses are innocent, they can't help it if they are born superhuman.I was was raised pro-choice because I'm from Massachusetts and my parents work in schools and in higher education. Religion played a part in my life, but when in CCD they told us to pledge ourselves to the pro-life cause, I had to laugh. To me that was like believing in creationism, it was an anti-intellectual view. My parents are pro-choice, but still church goers.I grew older and joined many left wing groups in high school and college and things like the belief in gay rights are still with me, but that's another discussion entirely. Going vegan changed me the most because at that point I was rejecting behaviors that I'd been taught were ok since birth, meat eating, use of animal products, etc... Then one day I made a strange connection, why do I think it is wrong to kill a simple fish, but believe the of killing a fetus is something I should be fighting for? Surely some fetuses have as much consciousness as fish? Eventually, and it took a long time, I decided that if meat is murder then abortion must be murder as well. I'd questioned the more traditional beliefs I'd been raised with and then also questioned the 'progressive' beliefs that came with them as well.So what' the deal, do I protest the clinics? No, but I don't protest meat eating establishments anymore either. I don't oppose the idea of protesting, but I see it done wrong more often than not. I prefer to lead by example, by being a healthy vegan, and as far thinking abortion is murder, the only thing I'm likely to do is share my opinion if I get the chance. I just did. See The Unborn, its awesome.One more note. Suppose you were the signer of a vegan straight edge band in the 90's and were also pro-life. On a date with a hot hardcore chick you explained that you don't have sex because if the girl gets pregnant, you know that with your convictions their is no easy way out. Do you propose to her that the only safe alternative is to go up the back door? Nooo! I've got two words for you... JERK OFF!
First of all viceland.com, the Vice Magazine site, rates the mascots for thrash metal bands in an article this month. Among those in the running are Martha from the Accused, Sergeant D (they say the monster in House is him!), and the Voivod tank. Missing from competition: The M.O.D. shark and the Uncle Sam from the Uncle Slam records. M.O.D. used an Uncle Sam for a few records too. Mascots have to be on more than one record to qualify, so the surfing guy on the Sacred Reich EP is out.
Also unrelated, I saw the Amityville Horror remake and was disappointed. The movie is faced paced and exciting for a bit, then last few bits just totally suck. I was reminded of Cold Creek Manor, a movie that slips my usually slips my mind when I am asked what's the worst movie I ever seen on the big screen. I often answer Darkness, Darkness Falls, or House of the Dead.
Brotherhood of Satan comes from Bernard McEveety who appears to have directed a lot of television shows. Writer L.Q. Jones made A Boy and His Dog, a cult movie I've seen selling at ridiculously high prices. I've had this tape for a while, it would not play on my last two VCR's due to tracking difficulties. I'd tried to sit through the opening scene several times because it looked so promising. A battery powered toy tank is contrasted with shot of real tank (or bulldozer) treads crushing shit. Neat. The theme of miniatures becoming real and dangerous is repeated when a sculpture of a medieval knight is shown in a living room, then later the man who owned it is decapitated by a full size black knight on horse back. No explanation is offered, and the same can be said for most of the creepy phenomena, which makes it all the more bizarre. There are a lot of satanic cult movies out there, and of course they are all good, but this one could be the best. Let's not forget the killer doll, who induces seizures, and then sheds a single tear.
I've been a real slacker about taking pictures of my tapes for the internet, but if I've got a strange edition of the video that I can't find pictured on ebay or on another horror site, I've got no choice but to show it off. Look at this artwork (left), a funny looking drawing of what's on the more common cover (right).
If you liked or did not like my article on Winky the Dogmules sXe vegan HATE page... I really have no idea what the consensus on it was, but I'm digging up another page. This one from 2000, not 1996, the 604 XslutkrewX site. I tried to find some of my other favorites, Hessian Hellcats, Julian's Sexy Scenesters, but I either deleted the links from my old website or had no luck working the internet wayback machine.. (a great tool, some of your old websites could be archived there)
Anyway, I'm becoming an internet archeologist, digging up the old sites and seeing how much the scenester culture has change since then. It's absolutely fascinating to me, what can I say?
1st, some current links:
Angry White Kid - his recent post titled 'Don't Forget Your Roots' - "In this case I'm talking about one's roots of activism. I started on my Angry White Kid path when I was 15 and my sister harassed me enough to go vegetarian. Yes, I was an old-school animal rights activist. For a variety of reasons, I don't fraternize much with that movement anymore." Angry White Kid, formerly vegan scott (don't think I knew him), is going vegan again! His blog is entertaining, serving up the dirt on juicy topics like Israel vs. Palestine, you can't get any more controversial than that.
Pitchfork Media on some famous artists blogs - Moby's blog and Durst's blog get bad reviews.
Tyson on Earth Crisis - Tyson's enjoyable writing on his myspace account, you might need an account to read it.
The 604 XslutkrewX, pre-makeoutclub, this site had a handful of member profiles and then a boy/girl of the month, you could submit yourself. See the x'd-up anime characters, guys in basketball jerseys, girls in bandana's and hoodies, emo glasses, the liberal use of the letter 'x', identifying yourself by area code, and 'shoutouts' - artifacts of another time!
Also not - this page represented a time period when hardcore was in transition, moving from sportswear Victory period to a time where more rock n' roll and punk elements of fashion and music became acceptable. Sex? Well besides the name (see the bio section), this site does not get into detail, but around this time we saw hardcore start to change from sterile and asexual (girls in massive hoodies and baggy cargo pants/boys saying that not sleeping around is tied to straight edge) to the super sexual state it's in now.
interesting comments in the guestbook? Not too many, it's kind of painful to read actually, but this one touches on fashion, can't tell if it's a joke or not, but it mentions the switch from JNCO's to cuffed pants:
hey its size 36 ECKO unltd. jeans not size 50 jnco....jnco are ugly.....oh and its not that you "got over" it or "grew up" its that you are trendy!...its just not as cool to where big pants anymore. oh and i really like after the fall it would be cool if you guys got it togather and put somthing out..im not joking i do..its good music *quality...esp the cover of "paint it black" that song is about hardcore kids hair right? but yeah im just not cool cuz my pant legs GO PAST MY FUCKING ANKLE. HARDCORE not much more than shittalking,backstabbing,style,AOL,and of course tuffguys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i think i'll be a hiphop kid its got style and it still has meaning in the "underground". REDDING RULES!(i moved here for the fine dining
so, you can still visit this site, it's gathering dust on a geocities server, and here is the link to 604 XslutkrewX
thanks for reading.
The College Republicans at the University of Connecticut (article) (or if that's not working) called forth the Ultimate Warrior to speak out for their cause, however, they weren't banking on him to making statements like "queering don't make the world work" and later, "get a towel", to an Arab-American student who confronted him. Well I've been aware of the Warrior's all-American website for sometime now and already knew that was is a homophobe, but how about a racist? Well.. I don't know... I mean I doubt he has an aversion towards blacks, but that line about the towel? ...yeah that's bad stuff.
Ultimate Maniac!
So the internet is loving this story. Website somethingawful.com puts up a link to the Warrior's site (it's got a much better design now than when I last visited!) and calls it Awful Link of the Day. So began a war of words with the Warrior's "Director of Communications", Chris Lewis. Read it all here and laugh. This Lewis guy is a jerk and he and the Warrior cross the line when... and I quote from his letter where the public posting of the Warrior's e-mail address (on somethingawful.com of course) is the issue at hand...
I'm also sure that you realize that you've only made matters worse for yourself by passing along my email address to your minions so they can harass or threaten me. How cowardly of you to bring in others when you simply lack the fortitude to stand up for yourself! At this point, I've already tracked down two of the emails from your fans - one from Truman State University and one from Sonoma State University. I've had long talks with the IT supervisors at each school. The young men that YOU brought into what could have otherwise been a simple and civil disagreement are now facing disciplinary actions - including suspension from their respective universities - because they were foolish enough to bite on your plea to have your little followers harass or threaten me.
Ah, so it's the Ultimate Tattle-Tale, the Ultimate Snitch. Getting the college disciplinary boards involved? Those are the people who treat plagiarism as a sin worse than rape and assault. Those are the people who fear the internet, because of the possibilities of illegal file sharing going on using school computers. Ultimate Warrior, you have made an unholy allies and hurt every unlucky student at those schools. Now they will face more restrictions, perhaps fear that big brother is reading their mail, anything they say could be regarded as, the horror of horrors... libel!
Ultimate Warrior, you have become the opposite of what you stand for, an enemy of freedom!
I've been thinking about the internet pages of the past and how out dated they are today. It was a smaller web back in 1996 and us nerds with our own sites would contact each other about trading links and sharing graphics and what not. Sometimes I try to track down the sites I used to visit and sometimes I have some success. For some reason today I thought of a site I used to dislike and the fun filled feud I had with the webmaster. I though it was called Winky the Dogmules sXe vegan hate page, but I was a little off. The actual title was Winky, The Magic Dogmuled Haircatcher's: sXe/vegan/hardcore/punk/whatever HATE pages!
It was the fall of 1996. I had my first internet connection on my new mac in my dorm room at Hamilton College in upstate New York. In the wee hours of the morning I'd work on my newest project, my first website called Total Liberation. It covered everything from militant vegan straight edge rants to news about me not getting along with my roommate. I don't know if Winky contacted me first or if I discovered his site on my own, but we quickly began our guestbook war. It started with a single post that Winky left in mine. Using html you could make images that were hosted on your own site (or any site out there) appear in the guestbook that you were signing. Winky not only left a bunch of his large pro-meat graphics (including moving cow gifs and blood dripping gifs), but also three frames that included all the links and code of his Meatatarian Webring. I did not delete his post because I did not believe in censorship and I was not really bothered anyway. Then a few days later Winky did this again, however this time he left that massive post 80 times in a row.
In those days the internet was slower and computers could not handle as much data. Removing all those posts was a slow and painful process. Winky hit me with that shit three or four more times before I first retaliated. I went to his site's guestbook and filled it up with crap using the same exact code he'd used on me, his own graphics and webring. Winky was undeterred. He shot me an e-mail saying a could not beat him because - and I remember this quote - "spam is a meat product". Once more he stuffed my guestbook with fifteen pages of his graphics-heavy shit. I was frustrated and making it so my guestbook entries would not appear until after I approved them did not help. The entries took just as long to delete during the approval process as they did through other ways. I was out gunned, but then I thought of a little plan...
Winky did not give a shit if anyone fucked with him. He was a pro. Other people, they would not take someone fucking with their page so well. Web pages take a long time to make, especially then before Dreamweaver. The guestbook was the place where feedback appears and was highly valued, kind of like all you guys' MySpace pages are now. I went to the other sites in the Meatatarian Webring and found that a bunch of them had their own guestbooks. I spammed each one of them with Winky's graphics and code, like 50 times each. I said something like "Your friend Winky has been spamming my guestbook over and over. See how it feels. I'll keep ruining all of your guestbooks until he stops spamming mine".
That was the end of that really. I tried to find the old entries, but half of my ancient guestbook was deleted. I did find one, which I believe, if I remember correctly, was from a vegetarian/sXe page that was in the Meatatarian Ring because the girl wanted to be open minded. Here it is:
does this e-mail that you sent me look familiar, fuckhead? how about the entry in my guestbook a few months back? if you really are the person who's been spamming ppl's guestbooks who belong to the meatatarian web ring *this is what i was told*, you are the biggest disgrace to the sXe/vegan movement..i find it hard to believe that anyone could care more about an animal than you do yr fellow human beings! what the fuck has a animal ever done for you?! NOTHING!! animals are allowed to eat each other, but when a human wants to eat them, it's wrong?!? all i have to say is: YR A FUCKING HYPOCRITE!! i'm not going to tell you that i hope you rot in hell for what you are doing b/c i have more respect for the human race than you do..and it goes against my morals..
i hope you go down..
sarah..
I love that shit. I really should see how many of my old e-mails and junk I can find and put that stuff up here. People were so passionate in the 90's. Whatever.
Anyway, Winky the Dogmule's site has been preserved! Yes, at something called i-mockery.com. Even if you never visited it on geocities the first time around, this site should take you back with it's pictures of Earth Crisis, Into Another, and maybe even Soulstice, I can't tell. He rips on everything. See for yourself!
Holy Shit! I just discovered, cause I'm looking at the site now, he rips on one of MY OLD DRAWINGS on page 13 of his site! I never saw this before, I swear to God! I'll replicate it:
Winky: Well, look what somebody drew for us in their preschool class today? It's a picture of a South Park character sporting some straight edge gear and propaganda! I'm sorry, if you can't draw a picture of those SIMPLE South Park characters, you might as well call it quits pal. They're simple SHAPES for crissake! And South Park is another fad that's going to die just as quickly as it came in. It's a lame show that has ripped off tons of other shows. Here's a page with someone who agrees with me. It's called The Anti-South Park Page. Finally, somebody out there agrees with me about the stupidity of this overrated show. It's no wonder the morons in the sXe/vegan community would support such mindless crap.Anyway, the conclusion is, Winky's page is really funny and I secretly always thought so. The best parts are the e-mail exchanges between him and vegan/sXe kids where they get pissed. By now sure 95% of those fuckers have sold out, and they were so adamant at the time. Oh well, good riddance.
Anyway, hope you enjoyed my trip into internet history. I intend to explore other long forgotten sites. Go Vegan. xxx
