Progeny, a late nineties effort from the people that brought us the Re-Animator movies. Stuart Gordon directed the original Re-Animator along with the stellar From Beyond and Dolls. He wrote the story for this movie. Brian Yuzna, whose first film wish the fascinating Society, directed the Re-Animator sequels and directs Progeny. Screaming Mad George, effects wizard for the two Re-Animator sequels, does the effects here. Unfortunately they are the only thing worth checking out in Progeny, an unimpressive work in every other respect.
Even some of the creatures are pretty weak. At first the white gummy-like aliens were captivating, but they got a little too much screen time in the white light. An insemination scene with bug-type organs looks cheep and has been done better in other movies. One birthing scene was memorable, but lost some points for turning out to be just a dream sequence. I hate those. The last shot of alien baby FX was absolutely fantastic, but that does not come until the final five minutes of the film. It too could have been a dream sequence, things get foggy. When this movie loses it's grip on reality it just heads right to the shitter. We get a truly lame twist and ending to this film with lots of unexplained bullshit that we don't even want to know the answer to. Think X-Files. I've had enough of that shit for life.
I'm not feeling charitable, so no points awarded for this movie taking place in Newport Beach, the city I live in right now. Hoag Hospital is right next door to me. The medical center where this movie takes place is fictional and I'm pretty sure the movie was not shot on location. Is there alien mayhem going down at Hoag? Oh shit.
In one scene the mother tries to abort the evil seed with a coat hanger. In the next she is angry because her husband wants the pregnancy terminated. What we get here are random outbursts without explanation.
The trailers that aired before this movie were so fucking bad, except for Stuart Gordon's Space Truckers.
One bid of wisdom from this movie in the form of dialogue, seriously. The subject at hand is alien probing.
"Why would they do this?"
"I don't know. I don't know if we can know. What do you figure animals think when we experiment on them?"
Don't you hate when you are looking up a movie you've just enjoyed watching and you find a smart ass little reviewer (on a site like imdb or yahoo - that allows user reviewers) saying "this film is begging to be MST3K'd". I'm talking about those little bitches in the corner of the screen and their fans who are like the kid who comes over to watch the wrestling pay-per-view and has to keep remind you the wrestling is fake.
No fun for me, but some of you need these guys and maybe I should live and let live. I don't think so, these snobs suck dick. Let me quote one for you. "This is another one of those horrible horrible movies that are only good if you watch it on Mystery Science Theater 3000. If you watch this movie without seeing it on MST3K and listening to the bots rip it apart then you are in big trouble my friend. The movie is a lame excuse for a monster movie. Complete with cheesy (and i mean really cheesy)special FX, horrible acting, and ridiculous plot line. You have to wonder if some of these movies were made intentionally for MST3K because it is so horribly bad that it makes you wonder how the directors sleep at night."
That's from Slipmud95 on the imdb (the word 'slackergod' is in his e-mail address) on Lamberto Bava's not-too-awesome Devil Fish which I believe really played on Mystery Science Theater. It's a bit of a dull Piranha/Jaws rip-off, but surely it deserves a review where at least one specific example from the movie could be mentioned. Still, I suppose 'slackergod' could be working on making a much better movie himself. In fact the '95' marks the year he started penning the script for his Reality Bites sequel. Don't worry guys, he will be done soon! Now he's been giving the movie a Royal Tenebaums feel so it will be just as derivative of other Wes Anderson movies as Devilfish was of Jaws. I'm just teasing, I like 'slackergod' and hope one day that he does get a letter back from his idol, the smart movie maker, Quentin Taratino.
Wait no, Quentin Tarantino, and Slipmud 95 are not birds of a feather. Check out this Tarantino quote.
"Laugh when its funny, not to prove you’re superior to the movie. Just Give yourself to the movie. Then at some point in the film you’re realize that you really fucking care about these characters and you’ll ask yourself when did you start to fucking care. They’ll sneak up on ya."
That from an article about Tarantino hosting an all night 80's horror marathon. Found via Blog By The Cemetery.
If I run out of bandwith (sceneholocaust.com is hosting) and nothing downloads you can see the video here at Putfile. It was made for an assignment called 'camera test' in my film class.
It is silent. I added the Fear song 'Beef Bologna', but that did not work for me. I tried the Carnivore song 'Sex and Violence', but did not like that either. This video is very short.
You must PUSH PLAY to view the video. May not work in some browsers, leave a comment at the bottom if you have trouble. It is is WMV file and can be downloaded here if you need to view it outside of this page.
DID YOU PUSH PLAY right above these words?, then it should work, leave a comment if trouble...
fun facts:
The assignment was for in-camera editing. Despite lots of planning in advance, everything went wrong and the video did not meet some of the requirements. I did edit it for this internet screaning so you can't see what was wrong, but some shots ran too long and two takes of the same shot were on the tape. I decided to do shoot another video quickly because I feared that this one would land me a low grade. The next tape was of Cub in a bikini by the pool. She looked great, but the tape was unimpressive. I decided that the unedited desert tape may have been better and was glad I had not scrapped it. I screaned both to the class. Grade: unkown at this point.
The video was shot in Palm Springs near the visitor center. Initialy cub was supposed to be crawling through the dirt in the middle of nowhere, but we found all this junk and decided to go with a post-apocalyptic thing on the fly.
We had to split moments after the last shot where Cub raises her hands in front of the sun. A schizophrenic desert person was comming over the hills straight towards us. He was about 50 yards away, talking to himself, and unaware that we were there. Cub is lucky I did not make her do a scene on his matress, which was lying near the junkpile. I wanted to reshoot that last scene, but did not because this guy was comming. Cub was out of there so quickly that she did not even pass to me the headless lizard prop that she is holding in the scene. It was still in her hand when we reached the car. I gathered up my shit so quickly that I'm lucky I did not leave the tripod or the lense cap or the manual out there. The lizard heads remains in that spot. I placed it on top of the abandoned dishwasher shown in scene one. I dare anyone to go out there and grab it, that is if the crazy desert men did not stash it away somewhere. Happy hunting.
Lee Ving is not top billed in this movie. After all, other segments star Lance Henricksen (Pumpkinhead, Alien, and regrettably The Mangler 2) and Emilio Estevez. He does not even get a speaking line as the killer William Henry Glazier, who attacks and then is shot in Nightmares' first of four short horror tales.
The most I've seen Lee Ving act is in Dudes, the Penelope Spheeris movie that is not unlike her Suburbia in that it's also fictional, has punk protagonists, has Flea acting, and includes a live performance by the Vandals. Suburbia and Dudes both suck, but at least Dudes has got Lee Ving as a mean badass villain. The best Spheeris movies I've seen are the documentaries The Decline of Western Civilization and The Decline of Western Civilization Part II: The Metal Years. Part III reportedly blows, but maybe I'd dig it. I don't know. Spheeris did write Summer Camp Nightmare (1987), a fun movie where campers revolt and become evil Communists. Some kids in heavy metal wigs lipsinc to Fear's 'Beef Bologna' in a raunchy talent show scene that you gotta see.
Fear music is present in Nightmare's second tale. 'I Don't Care About You' opens with it's "fuck you" line noticeably absent. 'Lets' Have a War' plays as Estevez battles a Mexican teen in arcade action. People generally seem to pick this segment 'Bishop of Battle' as the favorite. Clearly most of the effects budget was spent here as an arcade is trashed and there is extensive computer animation. I was impressed. My companion Cub was not. Punk fans take note, Black Flag's 'Rise Above' can be heard I think during the scene where Emilio Estevez fights with his Dad. There is also music by X.
I bought the poster for this movie as well.
The third tale is my least favorite. I like Lance Henricksen and could get into the first few scenes about a priest who is losing his faith, but the action stuff lost me. A menacing black truck chases Henricksen on the highway. There is great effect when it emerges from the ground below, but I was disappointed that the driver's face is never revealed. We do see an upside-down cross hanging from the mirror, which I found kind of tacky, like something a satanic teen would have. Does a demon from hell really need an upside-down crucifix?
Segment four? By far the best, with great characters and some gross stuff involving a giant rat. A few of the effects misfire, but they are still fun to see.
imdb.com bio fact about Lee Ving: Lee's tattoo on his right arm "Lee James Jude"(possibly real name) which is what he goes by when credited on the movie "Nightmares".
In a Citizine interview, Derf Scratch says Lee Ving's real name is Lee James Jude Capalero.
Unfortunately Lee Ving (along with some other cool actors - Roddy Pipper and Reggie Bannister) will be in Sin-Jin Smyth, a stupid looking horror movie with a star who I can only say fronts a band responsible for some of the lamest trends in 90's metal. Now those douche bags are washed up and he's gonna act. Fuck this. Yeah, I did not put that guys name down cause I get enough idiots coming to the site already from looking up the stupidest shit on the search engines.
Were you excited to see Lee Ving in a movie? No doubt it brought back memories of our date to a Fear show on Sunset Strip.
It was great to see Lee Ving in a movie, except for the fact that we hardly got to see him at all. He had a tiny role and you had to look closely to make sure it was even him. What a rip! Hmm.... memories with cub at Fear show (that was a nice night!)
Were you touched by the final shot of the rat in what the movie called 'Chapter 4'. I saw you even imitate the rat's roar of sorrow.
I did feel sorry for the Big Rat. All she wanted was her baby. RRRRAAAAAAWWWWWRRRRRR!!!!! Come on cub, don't try to deny it.... I saw a tear in your eye. Big boys do cry ;)
The last chapter reminded me a lot of the last segment in the anthology Cat's Eye (1985). They both had hateable parents (the do-it-yourself father in this one and the cat hating mother in Cat's Eye), both had a sweet little girl, and both had a creature living in the walls. What do you think?
I can see what you mean when you speak of the similarities, however I had not really made that connection when I was watching the movie. But good job cub! Sharp eye.
So there is a written Vault of Punk Horror in the works and it's got a bit of controversy attached to it. A look at editor Gabriel Llanas's blog (punk parent) will tell you what is up.
The main problem is that coeditor David Agranoff is in jail for refusing to take part in a grand jury. What's this? Well Agranoff is not charged with a crime, a jury is merely meeting to interrogate some people in order to figure out whether or not someone out there should be charged for a crime. They are gathering the dirt, to charge someone with something. Agranoff is a long time animal rights activist, they figure someone he knows must be up to know good, upsetting the system, you know, maybe they could be put away.
I found this story by following some links on the Rue Morgue message board. Coincidentally I've met Agranoff a couple of times, maybe over five years ago. The last time I saw him was at the Hellfest in Syracuse when Earth Crisis played their last show. If you must know, Earth Crisis was pretty fun to watch, but nearly every other band sucked. There was very little punk-based hardcore booked at the Hellfests back then. Trustkill bands were blowing up that particular year and it was just never ending metal hardcore, 90s style, not much black metal in the mix yet.
I had no idea Agranoff was a horror fan, but he's been at it writing for some time. Me, I've only been watching these horror movies seriously for the past four or so years, but man have I made up for lost time. It seems like the only thing I can do right is collect these tapes. Today I attempted to film some horror and it was a disaster. The shit has to be scrapped. Too bad, because we went way out into the desert for the assignment. I have a project due for one of my film classes tomorrow and will have to reshoot something in the morning to hand in. The plan is just to have Cub pose by the pool in a bikini and shoot that from a bunch of angles. That's not a joke. I'm totally serious.
Here is Agranoff's website. What's my take. Well I think this grand jury shit is completely fucked. Here is what I mean, but in someone else's more eloquent words.
The 9th Circuit Court has ruled against San Diego animal liberation activists David Agranoff and Danae Kelley, denying their appeal. The activists have maintained that the grand jury is acting in bad faith and is not actually investigating a crime, but harassing activists.
"The questions [the grand jury is asking] seem to be focused on activists, their affiliations and a lecture. In my assessment, they are attempting to gather intelligence on dissenters, and are not really investigating any crime. In a grand jury setting, people are forced to relinquish their Constitutional rights and are not allowed to have an attorney present…We aren’t surprised about the 9th Circuit’s decision given that they are still a part of a government which is exercising more and more control over its citizens; the same government that invaded Iraq illegally and has held prisoners in Guantanamo Bay for years without charges. I’m grateful for citizens like David and Danae who are willing to fight to defend the First Amendment", said Erin Dean, a San Diego resident.
That text from here, but there is more controversy. Apparently the web provider for Vault of Punk Horror has problems with Agranoff and has dropped the sight. I'd like to know what these problems are, no doubt they are political in nature. You can imagine that Agranoff would get under the skin of right wingers, that's obvious, but the story could be more complicated. Two punks can have two radically different philosophies. Not all of them are cookie cutter liberals with a standard set of beliefs, sometimes there is conflict, as there should be in a world of free thinkers.
I hope he gets out of jail soon.
As for punk rock, I had a shitty experience at the Angry Samoans show this weekend, so I'm not too psyched on punk right now. The guy who messed with me was not a punk rocker, just a party dude who could have been at any bar, but still, it reminded me that punk is extremely mainstream here in Orange County, and your average Joe Fuckface is into it, flashing devil horns and drinking a brew.
The Groovy Age of Horror blog is feuding with some right wing blog that in a post celebrates a bunch of old racist comic book artwork. (See the racist post - scroll all the way to the right, this conservative blog is all fucked up in the layout)
I think the Groovy Age would with agree with me that those issues should not be banned or destroyed, nor does it make one a racist to argue that the issues have some artistic value, however, praising the hateful sentiments expressed there is just plain ugly. I dislike political correctness, and am for allowing offensive ideas to be interpreted in different ways, but overt racism is something that should not be tolerated.
Controversy is fun, but I would never want to end up on the side of stupidity and hate.
Unrelated: I did a bit more research on the filmmaker Michael and Roberta Findlay. I discussed them in my recent review of Blood Sisters. The second movie these two made was called Satan's Bed and stars the then unknown Yoko Ono getting brutalized and repeatedly raped. Looks like you can get it from Something Weird. I learned what I now know from this article here at Lowcut Magazine.
News: Who asked for this? From the makers of the horribly unfunny Decampitated comes Mangler Reborn. The trailer opens with quoted praise from someone who considers the first Mangler a "classic." Why would I believe anything that guy has to say? Reggie Bannister stars, which raises the question, what is wrong with a world where Mangler 3 can get funding, but the final Phantasm movie has yet to be made? Death to 90's horror franchises.
So perhaps I will never get around to writing about my vacation and giving you reviews of each roadside haunted house I wasted money on. Here are some are some glimpses of what you are going to miss out on since I'm not writing that post.
from a haunted house on Mackinac Island, fuck off, Rawhead Rex, this guy is cooler
in Wisconsin Dells, typical bloodshed, but wait...
why is that tree so happy? It's the scariest thing I saw on that whole trip...
Taking flash pictures in the dark made me momentarily blind over and over again. I walked head on in to walls more times than I can count. Thanks for reading.
This is just the kind of news we like to discover here at bloodbath horror blog. A story that is nothing but nasty. I'll just quote the whole article from chartattack.com, written by Keith Carman from June 13th.
the headline: Fantomas Guitarist Hates Rob Zombie Movies
With all of the hoopla surrounding Rob Zombie's forthcoming flick The Devil's Rejects, we here at ChartAttack thought it might be a great idea to get an opinion from one of the music world's most intense film addicts around, Fantomas guitarist Buzz "King Buzzo" Osborne.
After all, Osborne has a vested interest in horror films. Both Fantomas and his other band The Melvins have honoured horror in some format, although Fantomas' (the band are completed by drummer Dave Lombardo, bassist Trevor Dunn and vocalist Mike Patton) latest effort Suspended Animation is more about cartoons than killing.
Little did we know that Osborne hates Rob Zombie though — with unbridled passion that borders on discomfort to endure.
"He's a total fucking asshole," grumbles Osborne. "A complete prick whether you believe it or not. I don't have appreciation for his talentless plagiarism. We did a tour with him and it soured me on the whole experience."
Finding issue with most horror-based bands, Osborne makes no bones about his feelings.
"[My fascination with horror] just isn't all-encompassing like The Misfits or Rob Zombie, where they rip off every element of everything about horror films. Those bands are a bastardization of Alice Cooper. I have no interest in fakes like Rob Zombie. There's no mistake why his name is 'Rob.'
"You want to do something more with it," he continues. "I like the overt stuff but you want to see how many people get what you're trying to do instead of shoving it down their throat. Unlike those guys, we don't steal our whole shtick from horror."
That's all fine and dandy in regards to the filmmakers, but just what is it about House Of 1,000 Corpses that Osborne hates? Well, he feels that the film is nothing more than a regurgitation of older, more original ideas.
"That is exactly what I don't like about him. His movie was great for the first 15 minutes, but it was total bullshit. If I'd never seen the movies he was ripping off, I might have cared. It's The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 30 years later. Who gives a shit? It's no good. I shouldn't talk about him anymore, 'cause no press is worse than bad press. I'm gonna stop talking."
It's not the first time Buzzo has took a shot at Rob. Said on stage once before - "Were you guys as surprised as I was to find out Rob Zombie was gay?"
Roberta Findlay is one of horror's most prolific female directors. Unfortunately her work seems to be disliked by all. As for all the pornos she shot, I know nothing. Pornos, it seams are rarely written about or analyzed or I just don't know where to go to find that info. I'm not kidding.
Roberta Findlay and her husband, Michael Findlay, wrote and directed the bulk of the movie that became Snuff when a simulated snuff killing was tacked onto the end of it to turn the movie into an urban legend. Michael Findlay's best known horror film was the awful Shriek of the Mutilated from 1974. Tragically, he was... well, I'll just post from the short bio on the imdb.
Horror film maker Michael Findlay was killed in a helicopter accident on the roof of the (then) Pan Am Building in New York city. On his way to John F Kennedy airport to connect with a Paris-bound flight, Findlay was planning to demonstrate his new 3-D camera to potential backers in France. Findlay and three other passengers were about to board the helicopter when its landing support collapsed. The helicopter fell onto one side and its spinning rotor blades decapitated Findlay and killed three other passengers. A woman on the street below was also killed when she was hit by a detached rotor blade from the helicopter.
That's a disturbing story and a bit more than I needed to know, but that is the most prominent information about Michael Findlay on the internet! I don't know if the camera, used in his 3-D porno, Funk, is still used today. Imaging getting your hands on one of those! I'm in the market for a camera myself for one of my film classes. Unfortunately we are working with the lowly video medium.
After the death of her husband in 1977, Roberta Findlay continued to direct movies for twelve more years, finishing her career with a handful of horror films in the late eighties. Blood Sisters is one of those last movies. Apparently a couple of these titles are available on DVD with interviews and full commentary from Findlay where she tells crazy stories and rips on the horror genre and her fans in general. I'm not usually one to give a shit about special features, but the reviews I've read of these discs have been very positive and I am intrigued.
I've got Blood Sisters on tape, no extras, no documentaries, just a bad slasher that I did not enjoy watching. Sorority girls spend the night in an abandoned whorehouse where a fat hooker and her client were shot 13 years earlier. Of course there are all sorts of scares. Some are just gags set up by the fraternity boys, others are more serious, there is a killer in the house, and a number of ghosts. The appearances by the ghosts are just about as goofy as the plastic toys and spiders that the frat boys left behind. One by the girls are picked off by a psycho as they wander through this house, never crossing each other's paths, on the endless scavenger hunt. The script is the problem. It's just not very tight, original, or engaging in any way.
The strange blog dirtpoet gives a negative review to The Zodiac Killer, directed by Ulli Lommel and featuring an appearance by David Hess.
a new controversial device: The "Rapex" device is inserted into the vagina by a woman who feels she is at risk of rape, and if she is attacked, small burr-like teeth will attach themselves to the tip of the rapist's erect penis, explained inventor Sonette Ehlers.
As he withdraws and becomes flaccid, it is only possible to remove the device by surgery, Ehlers said ahead of a launch and demonstration at Kleinmond near Cape Town. (article 1)
I'm all for it, here is one reason why: It also reduces the chances of a woman falling pregnant or contracting AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases from the attacker by acting in the same way as a female condom. (article 2)
I've got one vhs copy of Curtains, but I'm supposed to have two copies. Why? Well one time a batch of movies I won on ebay arrived with two tapes missing. Curtains and Iced. A duplicate of Curtains I can do without, but I wanted Iced, since it's made by a Jeff Kwitny who directed the bizarre Beyond the Door III. I demanded that the 2 missing tapes be sent. They never were.
The initial box took two and a half months to arrive, the longest I have ever waited for something I won on ebay. The seller took down his feedback page, which if you ask me, should not be allowed. He whined like a bitch about family problems and having to close up his ebay shop. Good. Known as tallasainchic, this man C. Patterson is no longer on ebay. If he comes back, I'll post his e-mail address so we can all sent hate mail.
Curtains is a respected Canadian slasher that is well put together despite being known for having lots of production problems and having been shelved for three years. The first reel, taking place in an insane asylum, is a little slow. Things don't really get rolling until after the first killing and it's the appearance of two props that really makes the movie work. One is a miserable looking doll, the other, a rubber mask of an old hag. The slow motion shot where the masked killer attacks on ice skates on a pond in the forest will never be forgotten.
Curtains - this box cover image is the same as the one on this poster, which shows the upper part of the old hag mask and the dolly
Directed by Richard Ciupka as 'Jonathan Stryker', which is also the name of the filmmaker character in this movie.
Cub, your moment of genius was recognizing the lead actress in this movie (Samantha Eggar) as the actress who played the Mom in David Cronenberg's The Brood. How did you make that connection?
I knew that she looked very familiar because she has a distinctive look ( I think it was the eyes and mouth) and then it just came to me that she had to be the mom in the Brood. It was also around the same time period so I figure I had to be right. Damn I'm good!
Cub I think this movie wins for most effective use of a creepy doll. Something that has been done dozens of times. Would you agree? I think it's cause the doll is sad looking.
I totally agree with you 100%. It was due to the fact that the doll was sad looking and that it was standing in the middle of thestreet while it was pouring outside with it's back turned to us. That was a unique take on things that worked for the movie.
Off-topic question: Cub your mission to be photographed in a spread with Asia Argento only resulted in you getting tons of pathetic voice mails from a sleazy producer asking you to hang out in Malibu. How do you feel about this set back?
HA. I can't believe you are posting this. I guess it just goes to remind all the people out there that if an individual does not call you back there is no need for you to have to try and contact them 5 times (let alone a second time). Sorry boys and girls, your rationalization of "oh, maybe they lost my number" or "perhaps they never received any of the messages I left" is simply not true, and you are just kiddingyourself if you think that there is a chance. You would think that one would get the point after trying to call a girl the second time around with no luck... but that just goes to prove that some of us out there really have no clue. (I can ramble on and on about this sort of thing, cub.... so I will stop now).
Sometimes I like to talk current events in this blog, but I'm at a loss for words about the hurricane. I'm watching the news, but I can't draw any conclusions. No one is too blame. It's not fair and it's a horrible disaster. I can only be thankful that I'm not there. Sorry to everyone affected.
Well, that was awkward, perhaps more so than my posts about abortion.
downloading rare records - because downloading rare movies is too hard. Disclaimer: I don't think these bands are getting screwed by the downloads. This exposure should just get people to go out and find their in print records and reissues. I've course I always buy used records, so I'm of little help, but I guess even that keeps the demand up. Besides, the people who scream 'support the scene' the loudest are the ones who get all the free promos and guest passes. Send promos my way...
um... never mind, I'm not putting my address up on here.
something I learned today - bunches of songs from older American punk bands including The Angry Samoans (they are playing again this month in Huntington Beach) and the Big Boys whose singer Randy "Biscuit" Turner passed away this month. R.I.P.
dressed for the h bomb - selections from The Mob (awesome NYHC), Gism, and Fear on Saturday Night Live. You can watch two of the songs on an mpg file! Introduced by Donald Pleasance, though that bit is cut off.
dressed for the h bomb put this pic up in their blog too - as far as I can tell it's the only picture on the web pertaining to that episode...
Middle Aged Youth - I downloaded the Coroner demo. Also, great stuff from the Verbal Assault album Trial. On the Verbal Assault website you can download ten live from songs from 1988!
medication: a buddyhead mp3 blog - This one I like for the writing, and they put up mp3 samples of every overlooked 90's band that they write up. Their blog may be on the path you took to get here, since it is often my largest provider of traffic besides the search engines.
I have not forgotten, that true rock music is only played by the Octopus Garden... I mean, I have not forgotten about my vacation pictures with four haunted houses and more roadside attractions to show you.
Can't somebody else review it? Well yes they can, as you will soon see. Did not know this was a 3-D movie until reading the other online reviews just now. That explains a few things, like the cartoon-looking ax flying at the screen before the title appeared. I also remember a sledgehammer-to-the-face in a p.o.v. shot. I bet that was impressive on the big screen.
imdb user J. Theakston (<---- full review) gives us the scoop - Some notes about the film: Apparently it opened in LA in 3D and pretty much did a roadshow tour. By the time it hit NY, it was being shown flat, which goes to show it really sort of hit the tail end of the 3D craze of the early 80s, which is too bad, because the photography in this one is tenfold that of anything else that was being done at the time (it was done with the over-under polaroid process, not anaglyph, and this was the way it was presented to me). Several murders have some great effects that really work well in the 3-D.
That was from an imdb user comment. Anyway, the director of this movie, Simon Nuchtern, is probably (people don't seem to know for sure) one of the men who shot the famous final scene in the false snuff film, Snuff (1976)...
Rad. Here are all the spoilers courtesy of Hysteria Lives with my commentary in black text.
BODYCOUNT 14 female:9 / male:5
1: Male teenager killed by sledge hammer to the head
2: Female teen gets a BAD 3-D axe thrown at her, which hits her back (I thought this looked cool)
3: Skateboarding female teen gets her head squashed in a vice (this is a nasty one)
4: Sorority sister steamed to death (better than it sounds, a stylish kill)
5: (In black & white flashback:) 4 sorority sisters nailgunned.
6: Sorority sister stabbed to death whilst playing 'Dragon's Lair'
7: Sorority sister has a rope put round her neck which is attached to a dum bell and chucked out of the window while she's doing aerobics!
8: Hospital attendant gets a drill through his head whilst trying to rape Dr. Gilmore (the best kill, Cub saw this coming, I did not)
9: Hospital attendant gets a crowbar through his chest (ridiculous, not too convincing, the films weakest moment)
10: Policeman stabbed in the chest
11: Man stabbed in the back with a shard of broken mirror
The whole review from Hysteria Lives here... check it out!
The name and the box are not too memorable, but ok I suppose. That would be the corrupt Dr. Kruger on the cover. Or not... I don't know. The mental hospital staff in this movie are far nastier that the psychopath, though we don't feel any sympathy for him either.
So my sources are credited. I just wanted to mention this movie because it was particularly mean and cruel. I'm waist deep in unwatched tapes here. Next should be the slasher Curtains with a cub speaks for the fans.
About twenty minutes into The Brothers Grimm yesterday I found myself thinking, "what a terribly awful film, why the hell was it that I wanted to see it?" I racked my brain, but I could not remember why. Then came a scene where two of the Brother's funny-voiced friends were hung upside-down, above boiling oil, with cases of snails strapped to their head. The sight and sounds were so familiar, like they were in a movie I'd seen. Ah.... much like that Baron Munchausen movie I liked as a kid! That was it, I remembered that I wanted to see this movie because Terry Gilliam (Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Time Bandits, Twelve Monkeys) was the director!
From that point one, scenes that otherwise would have got under my skin, were charming to me because I knew it was the Terry Gilliam style. So, though I say I "tell it like it is" and am not swayed by hype, I saw myself move from disliking a movie to thoroughly enjoying it when an outside factor, in this case the hip director, came into play. So I'm pretty much full of shit, sorry.
At least I still hated the Stepford Wives remake when I found out it was directed by Frank Oz of The Dark Crystal and Little Shop of Horrors (1986) fame. Some crap is just crap.
Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance from Korean director Chan-wook Park is playing now in theaters in New York and Los Angeles. It was tough to follow follow the story towards the beginning of the movie. For the first few moments of each scene I'd feel like I was trying to put together a puzzle in figuring out what was going on. Of course dialogue would eventually reveal the mystery every time and I think this confusion is deliberate on the part of the director and not a result of cultural translation difficulties.
Two people feel compelled to get revenge on each other in this film. The viewer feels sympathy for both of them. It's pretty heavy stuff with tragedy, misfortune, misery, suicide, accidents, you name something dark and it's in there. Of course there is vengeance as promised and I expect that is the main draw for most horror fans. Be prepared to sit through quite a bit of despair before the bloody payoff. At least one of the graphic kills will go down in cinema history for it's graphic gore.
Chan-wook Park made a sequel (none of the same characters, it's a sequel in theme only) to this movie called Oldboy and it has already had a small theatrical run in the United States. That movie has more to it with an elaborate bizarre plot that is more engaging. Beware, a U.S. remake is in the works. By most accounts Oldboy is a better movie though I could see some purists arguing that less is more. To get what I mean, try comparing Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986) with the original (1974). The second Chainsaw is just as violent, has an excellent big name actor, and far more elaborate sets, but the first movie is just plain better with it's raw simplicity.
coming up is a cub speaks on Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance, but first, a preview pic from one of the horrors I witnessed in the backwoods of the Midwest...
This creature will be showing up again an again in the background of the new cub speaks graphic, but here is a better look at him. He is obscured by Cub's reflection in the other picture.
So there is a third movie in this trilogy. Old Boy is considered the second movie and the newest one is the recent Sympathy for Lady Vengeance... Would that be the story of you Cub? You seem like some who should not be messed with.
It would certainly be about me honey... me = Lady Vengeance. I believe that whatever goes around will eventually come around and bite you on the ass. So please, for your own good, refrain from messing with me, cub ;)
You liked Oldboy better than Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance?
I liked Oldboy quite a bit more because there was so much more to it. It was more suspenseful and gruesomein my opinion. I also loved the ending (I will not spoil it for those of you who have not yet seen it). It is a quality movie that would be rated 10 bears (only you cub know just how much that is.)
You gotta admit, Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance is not for the squeamish. I don't want to give away the kills, but some are very bloody. Did any of this stuff make you cover your eyes?
I must admit that there were several times where I did have to close my eyes... you know where cub, cause you saw me do so. I also squeezed your hand harder during those parts!
Porno Holocaust has come out on DVD. I don't know when, but it must have been recently. Anyway, the list price is $29.99 and you know what? It just might not be worth it.
A post about metal, I won't make it a habit - I mentioned in my last post that I don't like black metal, but I do like the legends who started it all, Venom. Over at this blog is an mp3 of between song banter from a Venom show that they played with Black Flag in 1986. Go to the WFMU blog and read the story and check out the sound clip.
If you really like punk and metal, go to Church of Thee Nihilistic Goat and check the comments section for this post. Get the program WinRAR to extract any files that you might download, such as Venom's Canadian Assault. I enjoyed the N.W.O.B.H.M. of Witchfinder General and their album Friends of Hell. You can only download so many files per hour.
One of metal's weaker bands is suing Burger King. I know there a lot of legit reasons to sue Burger King, they are not making the world a better place, but this case is hilarious and an embarrassment to the band involved. Get the scoop at the smokinggun.com with the real legal papers and everything.
Want to see a fan of that same band chopped in half, entrails everywhere. This site, MTVhell, has great comics and angry rants from metal fans.
So it's old news, but you simply must read this piece (the whole story, it loads slow) about the feud between Iron Maiden and America's first family of cable television. The bands who attacked Maiden, Black Label Society (of course) and the metalcore band, Bury Your Dead. What a disgrace. Considerably less cool than when Ink and Dagger threw yogurt on Earth Crisis. Or perhaps it was the roadies for Mouthpiece. I'm getting two stories or more mixed up here.
Bruce Dickinson telling off a beer thrower - audio!
I get real upset when customers at work look for performers alphabetically by their first name. This shows that not only have they never shopped at a record store before, but they also have never been to the library.
Expect a horror review and vacation photos shortly...
Still want to see Toolbox Murders 2004? Well this stupid list of questions from a message board on the imdb ought to discourage you... (spoilers all over).
I see the possibilities of this movie, but I feel like they cut out half of the story. Who was the killer? Who was Lusman? What were the symbols for exactly? Who was Chas? How did he know all of the buildings secrets and not get killed too? Why was Saffron nailed to the ceiling after she was already nailed to the wall? Why did her eyes open after she was dead? Why did everyone's eyes open after they were dead like they were blinking? Why were the teeth in the wall? Why did the symbols on Nell's arm stop him? How did he get away with this all of those years? Didn't the manager wonder why people kept disappearing? Why was Nell knocking on all the symbols? Why would they have been hollow behind only the symbols and not the walls they were on? Why was the killer so mangled and using needles? Why did the killer need to keep killing in order to stay alive, or whatever he was? What did any of this have to do with Lusman or his black magic? What was the spell that the building was under? What was the deal with the rocker on the roof? Why did the killer keep hammering all night? Why was he so obsessed with killing people with tools? Why did he try to stop the building from being finished originally? Lusman worked on it for 10 years himself to finish it because the killer kept killing the workmen. Did Lusman even know the killer was there?
I hate when people go to the internet to answer questions about a movie. They are either asking to learn the answers to questions that are not meant to be found out or they are morons who don't get the obvious or, like in this case, they are asking about a shitty movie. In the words of the next poster on the board...
Man, I haven't seen it, but you've shown it's so full of holes, I never will!
Well said.
Last post I put up a link to a gallery of bootleg DVD scans. Here is the article about bootleg DVDs that mentioned that gallery. It's worth a read. From the often shitty L.A. City Beat.
I really not into black metal, that trendy European cousin of death metal. A site called Ruthless Reviews has posted, for a 2nd round, the ten most ridiculous black metal pictures of the all time. Number one is really something you don't want to see. All that pic is missing would be an Orange County hardcore kid kneeling down at the foot of that stage with his mouth open. What?
I'm back from the Midwest, home for a day, then off to a wedding in Visalia, California. I am going to post pics from the past week's trip - pics that will interest horror fans - I promise. I also really want to review the movie Nightmare Weekend, a weird, weird, mess of a movie that Troma released in the 80's on Lightening Video. That will have to wait.
Pirated DVDs - they are bankrupting the industry, costing people jobs, and are hand delivered by Bin Laden to the guy on your street corner. None of those things are true, so check out this gallery of DVD cover scans hosted on Flickr.
Vegan horror filmmaker Scott Goldberg will be putting his movie The Day They Come Back online on his website for two days, October 30th and 31st. DVD release is November 21st. He's working on a movie with Felissa Rose (it's called Danielle's Revenge), the actress who played the original Angela in Sleepaway Camp.
Over the break we hit up Blockbuster Video, a place that every horror fan hates, other than the readers of Fangoria who no doubt believe it is dope or fly cause they've got all the new CGI monster movies and Sci-fi Channel features. I picked Toolbox Murders because I wanted to see if director Tobe Hooper is back on track. This guy once brought us The Texas Chain Saw Massacre and Poltergeist as well as the cult slashers Eaten Alive and The Funhouse. Unfortunately his last well known movie was The Mangler. Released in 1995, it's a terrible Stephen King film that bears, of course, barely any resemblance to the original short story of the same name. Sadly, it got worse. In 2000, on video, appeared the Lake Placid knockoff, Crocodile, with a giant CGI beast. Oh that movie did certainly suck as you can better imagine.
People are talking about Tobe Hooper again because there has been some buzz about this Toolbox Murders, a gore-filled remake of a 70's bloodbath. Is this the awesome movie we've all been waiting for? Hell no.
The original The Toolbox Murders is not that memorable, but it has got one really great kill before ending on a slow note. At least the film goes down as one of the video nasties, banned in Britain. I really don't remember it well, but am pretty sure it drifted off on a dull kidnapping plot tangent. That's all irrelevant now, because Tobe Hooper's movie only shares the killing tools with the original. He brings in a bunch of other shit though... and it's all awful.
- a kid who hacks into his neighbors webcam, to watch her changing, but did he get that murder recorded?
- mysterious runes of magic decorating the building, this supernatural element is never explained. I mean that in a bad way, I know ambiguity often works in horror, but in here it's either laziness or too much crap ended up on the cutting room floor.
- a Trent Reznor-type brooding handy man, so obviously weird, that he could not be the killer.
- a cast of moody generation x'ers, look... the nineties are over, but here we are. A lot of rain too, sure there is a rainy season in L.A., but that looked like Seattle.
- a sleazy building manager, who seriously, did not seem at all bad to me next to an actual building manager that I had when I lived in Hollywood.
- piles of rotting corpses, like we discovered Leatherface's secret room, which is out of place in a movie that aims to be believable for the first two thirds of the way through.
- the movie did not feel 70's, despite the quote on the box cover, it felt very now... and it sets us up for a sequel!
First, a few random notes: Move over Japanese Guinea Pig movies, here is something called AV Horror! I don't know what watching a whole movie of this is like, but it would appear that these are made up of simulated scenes of Hara-Kiri. See this nasty video clip or these sets of images (one, two, three). I don't know where to get these DVDs, I just saw a post about it on a message board and the source is not credited. The company that made these movies is called Fuji Kikaku. one more thing: praise from Mondo Schlocko about this blog - "speaking of fantastic and brilliant here is a great site of reviews of the some of the many cult VHS horror flicks and Brentwood collections out there today. Besides Warrenzone's reviews is also interesting side commentaries from Cub. A guy who digs Brentwood and Polonia flicks is okay in my book." Thank you.
The Legend of Blood Castle is a rare one. Not on DVD to my knowledge, though one of director Jorge Grau's other films, Let Sleeping Corpses Lie, has received the Anchor Bay treatment. I'm pretty sure my tape of this movie was cut, but I like what I did see. The uncut version is allegedly titles The Female Butcher.
The movie centers around an evil royal couple who come into their wicked ways separately.The nobleman Karl is more interested in watching his hawks kill doves, than having sex with his wife. In a gruesome scene we see a hawk eat a real dove alive. I Could have done without that. Karl becomes a vampire deliberately by wearing some sort of cursed amulet.
Why is the Countess Erzsebet Bathory not attractive to Karl? It seams she is old and has lost her youthful beauty. Well, there is hope, a witch advises that bathing in the blood of a virgins removes the ravages of age. Of course one bath alone will not do. You can imagine where this leads.
It sounds like a conventional horror film, but this movie is a bit nastier than the average gothic tale and it has some unique touches. The relationships between the characters in the movie are a little odd. Witches seem to play a somewhat accepted role in this society and no one appears in the least bit surprised when a corpse in a clear coffin is given a large public trial. The royal husband and wife keep tabs on each other by looking through a little hole in the attic floor and bedroom ceiling. This hole doubles as a spout for a blood shower.
a Spanish/Italian production
the reviews on the imdb site are worth a look for this movie. No Cub Speaks this time (she did enjoy this movie), but I'll get one on the next movie we watch together.
The first thing you guys gotta know is... that the man who brought the most horror to your small town video store, now has a blog. Charles Band, started Media Home Entertainment, produced Tourist Trap, Troll, TerrorVision, Ghoulies, and then of course worked on all the Full Moon movies. He is on the road with the resurrected Full Moon label.
So now there is a page that tells YOU when each of your favorite horror blogs is updated. Yes, this blog ('bloodbath' or 'warrenzone', take your pick) is reported on, so the list must be complete. Check it out: Where the Monsters Go: The Horrorblog Update Page and also stop by the blog by the guy who created that resource, a writer named Sean.
Mondo Schlocko, I've never linked to that one before, but the writer likes cheap-ass Brentwood DVD sets (as do I) and cheaply made Polonia brothers films (as do I) so take at look at that blog. We will find out if he is a fan of my writing. I don't get much negative feedback, but if I invite feedback and get no response, I can only imagine that some people wonder why the fuck I even bother.
CineSchlock-O-Rama brings us some news from an actor reminiscing about his role in Color Me Blood Red. I guess that would be an internet exclusive! This writer appears to have met all the horror stars at Comic-Con. I really should have gone to that.
A bunch of new sites rising up, trying to be the next bloody-disgusting. I hope they blow it the fuck away.
Ok, it's up to you if you want to read this. I wrote a fantasy story for cub a couple of years ago when we were first dating. It's not really horror, but the payoff is pretty good if you get all the way to the end...
In any case, more reviews to follow. I have bought so many videos lately, the floor is gonna cave in on my rich Newport Beach neighbors below. I mean, I just bough a box that had two copies of Maniac Cop in it and two copies of Nightmare Weekend. I thought that being away from Amoeba would slow the flow of horror product into my place. I thought wrong. Stop me from my ebay addiction.
Long before Cryter's death, though not long after Panchan was but dust on the streets, she came to a break in her travels to visit with a wealthy suitor. Indeed he was wealthy, and indeed he was old, as most of her suitor's had been and would be, but she did not love him. Still, she stayed with him at his estate and told him, of all things, that his age would not deter her from staying with him. Perhaps he believed her, perhaps he just wanted to, but he was always conscious of showing his age whenever she was around. As they walked his ground each evening, holding hands, he would always push on when Cryter exclaimed "oh you must be tired". In fact each evenings walk became longer, until the night when passing over the seventh hill, they entered a grove no man had ever wandered into before. The last rays of sun illuminated a twilight setting where a sleek young forest cat arched it's back by a crystal stream to drink the mountain water. Cryter lit up at the sight, but it displeased the older man. He quickly pulled an arrow from his quiver and shot the cat through the heart. Cryter cried out and ran towards the dying animal and the man felt like a fool for reacting out of jealousy. The cat looked up at Cryter and said "I know you would not hurt me, so I will help you. Look at my whiskers, they are solid gold. Pluck them and be rich, they are of no use to me now..." Then the cat closed his eyes forever. Cryter wept. She could not take the gold whiskers and buy happiness as a result of the cat's end. Cryter turned to walk away, then turned back, and pulled one whisker. She would not want to forget this cat.
Every spring came the squirrel games where the mountain squirrels would roll boulders in a race with the humans. The man had never beaten the squirrels, but this year he amassed a new team, recruiting the strongest athletes from the university to play for him. He bragged constantly to Cryter of his upcoming victory and she finally contended, "You may win, but only because of the young men you have paid to play. Even when you were young, you did not beat the squirrels." After hearing this the man's stomach dropped. How could he prove himself? He would role the winning boulder.
Before dawn he rose to go to the plains where he practiced boulder rolling as a youth. He spotted the same boulder he once had practiced with, now covered in moss, but surely a great place to begin practicing. He threw his weight into a push, but then every muscle erupted in excruciating pain. As he lay on the ground convulsing, he began to weep.
The walk home would be long he new. He crawled like a sick fool towards the pond to get some drink and was horrified by his reflection. He was covered in dirt from his convulsions and he looked haggard and old. Surely he could not be seen until he cleaned himself, shaved off his grey stubble, and perhaps even put on a wig. Had it come to that? He did not want to be seen by anyone in this state and decided to walk home through the poor neighborhood where no one he knew would see him limp.
The houses in the poor part of town where dilapidated and the smoke off burning excrement in the streets was quite thick. To avoid the sight of creature's corpses in the road, he paid attention to the signs on the buildings which said queer things like "Here there be Grog", "Mercenaries for Hire", and "Fountain of Youth"... Wait, what was the last one..?, he looked again. The shop's windows were too dirty to see in, but the door creaked open. A muffled voice can from within. "Come in..." There was no one else on the street to obey the command, so he did just that.
The man sat before an old crone of perhaps 489 years. Her tattered robes covered her face, but not her scent. She smelled like garlic and spices mixed with vinegar. It was not common for the man to be confronted by the offensive, but he did not leave. He found himself nodding as she asked him if he wanted to be young again. Did he know he would have to do evil to achieve his wish. He knew. All he would have to do would be to take something from a loved on and carry it with him always. She could not know he took it and it would have to be something dear to her. Well that would be a small sacrifice for his new found virility, would it not? "How true.." cackled the witch.
On Cryter's table sat her prized possessions and the man picked up each one to see what weighed the least. After all, he would have to carry it with him always. Her brush? Made of hard stone. Her music box? Light, but too bulky. Wait... there in a crystal vase stood the golden whisker. He slid it into the waistband of his pants, just in time, as Cryter entered the room.
"What are you doing in here?", she asked. "Nothing." He smiled and felt good as he fled scene, bounding down the spiral steps with ease. Before he new it he was outside looking at his own reflection in the mote. He looked ten years younger, no!, twenty. "What's gotten into you.." yelled Cryter out the window. He looked up at her. He would just have to bound back up those stairs. His new youth made him feels excitement. But then, a sharp pain between his legs. In horror he saw his pants turn red with blood. As he tore off his trousers, his final act in life, he saw that the gold whisker was no longer tucked in his waistband, but was stuck through the head of his penis.
epilogue - where the old man died and where his blood fertilized the ground by the moat, only weeds would grow. Even today, when gardeners are equipped where gasoline motors and genetically engineered grass seeds, that bank is still a thorny tangle.
First, a word on The Devil's Rejects which I saw this past opening weekend. It was pretty good and certainly violent and disturbing. I'm not sure if fans knew how to take this movie. Rob Zombie said that people are not supposed to root for the bad guys like they did in his last (awful) movie, House of 1000 Corpses. Not surprisingly, debates about the movie are in full effect throughout the world of internet movie forums, even more so than for the recent Land of the Dead. A lot of stupid people on both sides of the "it was gay"/"it owned" line. The movie opened poorly, but it should still make it's money back without a problem. My prediction is that Rob Zombie will make a mainstream movie, a thriller, or a dark comedy, within the next five years. Maybe he will even drop his stage name and go by something more normal, but that could be ten years down the line.
On to the review:
Here we discovered an overlooked Canadian movie that's up there with Nightmare in a Damaged Brian (my review) or the disturbing later films of Philip Yordan (my review). It's the tale of a filthy rich horror writer, his neglected wife, and spoiled kids. Well, I guess the kids are not that bad, just unlucky. Our hero writes his books and movies to be comments on the degradation of society, but of course the world sees his work as just plain trash. The guy makes buckets of money, but gets no respect, even at his own alma matter where a class room of college students verbally tear him apart.
The writer strives to find the ultimate horror and eventually does in his own household. Everyone is in this movie is a total bastard, though at times we can feel sympathetic to each of their situations. The movie is loaded with pure 80's excess, fur coats, private jets, and two cocaine parties, reminders that there is misery at the top. Most reviewers remark that the writer, named Stephen Young, is meant to represent Stephen King, though I never heard about any turmoil in his family life. Maybe I missed some scandal back in the early eighties when I was two years old.
Deadline from TV director Mario Azzopardi, on Paragon Video, another one not on DVD
The best scenes are the horror sequences inserted throughout the film, meant to be the writer's thoughts and/or clips from his films. We get cannibal nuns, children as brutal hooded executioners, and a post-punk band, much like Siouxsie and the Banshees, that plays through a device making captive homeless listeners shit themselves and explode.
and now, a dialogue with cub, for cub speaks...
In my favorite scene, a goat shows up. The guy cleaning the industrial sized snowplow says something like "you again!" and chases the goat off. The man goes back, working with the huge propellers or whatever they are called and the goat comes around again. We see a close up of the goat. Goat looks to the sky and mysterious music plays. The snow blower turns on (by itself!) and rips of the mans arm. Blood shoots from the stump. Then his leg is torn and and gets twisted by the blades. The final shot shows his head rolling away. I will never forget this moment. Cub, why did I love this scene with an evil telepathic goat?
As many people might not know, you have a strange fascination with goats which is probably the reason for you liking the evil telepathic goat. You thought the goat was the cutest thing you have ever seen and you rooted it on, throwing your hands up in the air and showing me an evil grin.
Did this scene make me hug the goats at the zoo closer? Why did I not fear them?
I do believe that this scene made you hug the goats closer because you felt spiritually connected to them. Doesn't that seem kinda bizarre? You were secretly hoping that the goat could read your mind and deliver that which your evil little heart desires. You have no fear for goats, only love....
Just a quick word on Dark Water which I saw in the theaters Sunday. I'm sure this is becoming the cool movie to hate, after all, everything that was right was horror a couple of years ago (Japanese horror influence and remakes) has become everything that is wrong with horror today. Wes Craven even knocked it from the stage at Fangoria, saying that the industry does not know what horror fans want, they think that horror fans want movie about 'dark water'. Well, Cub liked this movie, I was underwhelmed, but as far as the ending goes - and keep in mind that I have not seen the Japanese version nor do I want to spoil this one for you - I think that the sort of feel-good finish to the movie is a welcome change, though that sort of thing might go over better in a less cynical Japan. Remember The Eye? Eyeball, from Umberto Lenzi (Cannibal Ferox, City of the Walking Dead), is considered by some to be the worst giallo ever made. I avoided this one after seeing a pretty weak preview for it on another Prism video tape. Later, I regretted passing it up in the bargain bin when I found out that a horror publication went so far as to name itself after this movie. Was I missing a classic? After watching it, I think so. I loved seeing these vacationers - on a bus tour of Spain - get killed off one by one. Sure, in the real world the tour would have ended after the first person lost an eye. I also doubt that pigs could eat a dead body as quickly as they did in this movie. But me, I never sweat those small details, a little bit of style more than makes up for it. Here we have a killer in a sharp red raincoat, borrowed from Don't Look Now. We have lesbians on a fashion shoot. We have big Italian sunglasses that Cub would die for. No, my girlfriend did not watch this movie. As some of you may know, she has a phobia of eyes being punctured or torn out. The name of this movie alone was enough to tell me to watch it when she was out. Now she is pissed as I've been raving about it for a couple of days. Cub will be back for the next review where we are going to discuss a rare tape I discovered that could be the Holy Grail of Horror that we have all been looking for.
"If you're not reading Warrenzone, you're missing some good stuff--especially "Cub Speaks," where Warren posts brief interview snippets with his girlfriend (at least I think that's what he's doing). I think the girlfriend is Cub, but then she also calls Warren "Cub" too." Those are kind words (here) from the Groovy Age of Horror, thank you.
I helped out my friend over the phone with some web sight technicalities. Her work is awesome and I look forward to posting a link when she's finished, but in the meantime, visit her blog, shoots of stars for comics and personal stuff.
So this guy smooth krayminal posted some news in a myspace horror forum that I have not read elsewhere. I though he seemed pretty cool, so I messaged him and he was kind of a dick, so we won't be myspace 'friends' after all.
Here is the complete text of his post:
George A Romero signed a deal to make 2 more Dead pictures. City of the Dead, 2006
Memories of the Dead, 2007(Working title)
This is not BS, two of my friends, are slated to work on both as producing designers. The second film, takes place more in the context of wasted city landscapes and will take a new direction ala large cityscapes of nothing, decay and some new twist to the Zombie genre.
The idea behind Land of the Dead was to put to rest some ideas and create new directions for the Zombies, the evolution is not what you think. The next movie is to be longer running time with a larger budget, which is slated, for creating a large scope.
My friends are vague but basically the other movies are in response to how well Land did at the box office.
In the sense that a lot of kids, some of you think George is selling out, The Dark Half was actually his largest grossing film to date and most of everyone has seen it.
See, I like this guy's writing. No idea if his info is real. He added this about the Romero video game City of the Dead as it shares a title with one of these new movies:
Even though City of the Dead is the title to the Game being put out, the idea is to have a game lead in. Supposedly COTD is going to be just a plain blood fest.
In crappy news, over at bloody-disgusting, I learn that that two of the world's biggest mall rockers are going to be in acting in one horror film each. Of course the BD crowd is pumped because they love to rock out to the rap metal and lunchbox industrial music. I will further distance myself from the mainstream horror crowd.
I don't know if this is a trend, or was a trend, but it's a phenomenon I've come across twice. Once at the Videosmith in my home town I came across a copy of Surf Nazis Must Die with, alongside the typical video store labels, a single Thanksgiving turkey sticker on the front. Who put it there? Well I don't know for sure, but I imagine it was a dissatisfied customer, who placed that sticker on the tape to warn future renters that the movie does blow. The next time I saw a turkey sticker was eight years later at another Videosmith, this time in Alston Mass. It was on the box for the Linda Blair movie Grotesque, if you must know.
So I've been reviewing horror movies here and been dishing out mostly good reviews for some movies that probably have not gotten very many good reviews before. Low budget, trashy, unoriginal shit movies that I like because they satisfy my cravings for splatter. I've been getting a good amount of traffic here, and maybe, and this a definitely a maybe, people might take one or two of the recommendations I've made seriously. Everybody should know that it's not a bad idea to listen to my rants, even if I have rated movies on bodycounts alone. See, I don't like everything. I made a list. It had some of the usual suspects on it, Children of the Living Dead, Halloween: Resurrection, etc... I removed those and left the more obscure titles, so here are some titles I don't like and a short explanation for each as to why. Nine films in three categories.
One more thing, I like turkeys in real life, but there is one turkey nobody likes, the Gobbly Gooker, who has showed up on the internet before.
I just could not get through it...
New Year's Evil (1980) - A crappy slasher from Cannon Films. I remember sinister phone calls. I remember rock bands that I could not get into. I remember wishing this movie would end and then making it end with my remote control.
Fade to Black (1980) - It seemed so endless. The killer, a movie buff, dresses up like old film characters to kill those who disrespect the art. I know a lot of people dig this movie, but I could not sympathize with the tormented high-strung killer, nor did I fall for his Marilyn Monroe.
The Nesting (1981) - A movie about an agoraphobic author. Feels like a bad paperback, that you of course, would never finish.
Does not live up to the name...
The Corpse Grinders (1972) - Ted V. Mikels has a cult following. Astro Zombies is ok, but this one is a total bore. Guys, where is the gore? It's on the cover of the box, but not really anywhere else.
even overseas, the Gooker shall be known
Schizoid (1980) - Yeah! Klaus Kinski killing people with a scissors! Sounds great, but it's a lame Cannon Films feature.
Sleepy Hollow High (2000) - "Scream meets Dawson's Creek", could you ask for a better crossover?! Wait... no, you guys don't want that. I kind of did, so I deserved this movie.
Rock Bottom - the worst
Back Woods (2001) - This is the worst movie ever made. It had to have been an experiment, where they only allowed for one take per shot. Really, very little effort was put into this movie, I can't stress that enough. The birth of the "300 pound retard-genius" is shown on screen in what has to be the worst effect ever, next to Mangina, the mythical creature of the Back Woods, who is just a naked guy with his dick tucked between his legs.
Cutting Class (1989) - A teenage Brad Pitt in a slasher with Donovan Leitch, son of 60's rocker Donovan and now a member of the truly shitty Camp Freddy. If you live in L.A. and you've heard their radio show on 'Indie' 103, you know what I'm talking about... Oh yeah, this movie sucks.
hollywood royalty, Camp Freddy, boooo...
At Dawn they Sleep (2000) - Made by death metal guys, they even manage to get in a line where they diss Metallica. So a vampire is going down down on a woman and bites off her vagina. How do they pull off this effect? By having the guy pop up with shreds or roast beef in his mouth. A new low in home movies, this blows.
I'm gonna slip another punk rock review into the horror blog here, as I've done twice before, though the most recent one was back in October. That last show I reviewed had the same lineup as this one and was at the same venue so I had to go back and reread that post to make sure that I don't just write the same exact thing over again. Yeah the show was similar in set lists as well, even down to the order of the songs! This weekend I did catch Channel 3, who I missed last time, though I later read a printed review of that show and they were not mentioned, so perhaps they no-showed in October.
Channel 3 were a few songs into their set when we came in and the first two songs I heard I did not recognize which is funny because I have their cd anthology and a cassette of one their original Posh Boy releases. They brought out a girl to sing some of the lines on "You Make Me Feel Cheep" and I whispered in Cub's ears what I believe to be the story behind that song, though I doubt she cared. The original version put out by Ch 3 did not have a female part. It was added later as a sample by DJ Rodney Bingenheimer, for his radio show Rodney on the Roq. I must admit that this works well, though I'm not a big Rodney fan, am not sure if he is alive or dead, and am avoiding the movie about his life (Mayor of the Sunset Strip) like the plague. I guess I'm partial to the Angry Samoans song that got them blacklisted from punk rock, "Get Off the Air" - lyrics here at their site.
Dawn of the Dickies
The Dickies had all the same props that they used in October. I love this band and their obnoxious between-song banter. Guitarist Stan Lee revealed that vocalist Leonard Graves Phillips voted for George W., which brought mass boos from the crowd. Graves Phillips used the occasion to rub it in everyone's face... that Bush won. Incidentally, the venue was packed, since it was a Saturday night. Way more kids out than last time, which means more liberty spikes, leather, studs, and patches.
Same shit, different day, but it was good shit since these are a couple of my favorite bands. With the Adicts we get hero-worship that is rare in punk rock, kids reaching out to to touch Monkey, like he is Elvis or Neil Diamond. I thinks it's because of the clockwork costume and mime paint, which turns this guy into a mythological character instead of just a punk singer. That, and the songs, which are some of the catchiest in punk. Even new ones - those that are not on the records everybody owns - are hypnotizing. It amazes me that they've never broken through into the mainstream, at least to an Adam Ant degree.
cub speaks on the show
I was able to discern that your favorite Adicts songs were "Chinese Takeaway" and "Bad Boy". I am right of course.
You are right about my favorite Adicts songs. Aww cub, you know me so well. That is true love to the max.
Are we going to put face paint and a bowler hat on you for the next Adicts show? NO white face paint, but we can dress me up in a tight white tee with braces and a mini instead ;)
